Dear You

Dear Not Quite

Dear You,

What do I say. This one's for a rather particular person. He's a great dancer, but controlling, and weird, but sweet, and... I'm not even sure. This is to the boy that... Just wasn't right. Not quite.

Dear Not Quite,

Hi. How have you been? It's been a while, but we both know it's better that way. Is life good? I hope so. You know I'd never wish you anything but the best.

You and I are funny, because I thought we'd end so much more dramatically than we did. You know that Taylor Swift lyric? "So it's going to be forever/ Or it's going to go down in flames." (Cliché, I know.) Anyways, when we started our flirtationship, I thought that'd be us.

You're so analytical. Eyes that notice everything and could understand parts of me that not everyone could. It was an awesome power, but equally terrifying. You were persuasive, convincing me to talk just fifteen minutes more, even when I knew I shouldn't. You were manipulative. There was also that time I told you a little white lie, and you just about broke it off right then. I was impressed with how much honesty meant to you, but also scared at your anger, and most definitely put off by it. In a functional relationship, I should never be scared by you.

You're so sincere in everything, which is part of why I squirmed. I wasn't sure of anything yet, but I let you talk me into trying. When you called me beautiful, it was amazing, because I knew you meant it; but I didn't know if I could honestly reciprocate similar feelings. When you got mad, you were genuinely, really mad, and I wasn't sure how quickly you'd forgive me. You feel everything so intensely, and deep down I do too; but usually I don't let myself feel much at all.

That's why we burned out, you and I. There were a few things about you that I knew I did not like, and a few places where we just didn't quite work. Not quite.   When we broke it off, you said it was because we were too similar. In some ways, yes, but I think it's more than that. We just don't work with each other.

Luckily, we both understood that, and it was a clean break.

And we never actually dated either. Not quite. We just spent a little too much time together and talked about someday when we might try. I don't mind that part though. You're sincerity in your smiles and your compliments made it real enough for me.

I still sort of wish we were together, for the sake of proving I too am capable of getting a boyfriend, but: 1. I'm not quite that shallow 

2. This time we really might go up in flames, and

3. Somewhere out there is someone far better, for both of us, and I'd hate to spoil what's coming by getting stuck in the past. Wouldn't you agree?

I still wish you all the best, darling. Thanks for the smiles.

To our (very) separate futures, -Me