Dear You

Dear Best Friend

Dear You,

Hopefully this letter will be easier for you to deliver. That last one was hard. I suppose not all the things I'd like to tell people are awful, you know. Some of them are nice, even if I can't find the words to say them out loud. Give this one to my Best Friend, if you will.

Dear Best Friend,

First of all, thank you. Thank you for laughing with me, and making me smile. Thank you for empathizing with me, and for picking me up when I'm down. Thank you for making me feel like I'm worth something, even when I feel worthless.

I have a confession, Best Friend. I've never quite had a best friend before. Maybe that sounds strange, but I think it's true.

Let me clarify. I've always had friends, lots of them; but I've always had very few friends that I could consider my "best friends." And out of those few, I've never had just one (or even two) that I would tell everything to, let alone one that would call me their best friend back.

It always kinds of astounds me when I see pairs that have been best friends since kindergarten. I've never had that. I'd like to blame it on the fact that I've moved a couple times, but I've never moved enough for that to really be the reason.

Maybe it's just me. (That sounds pretty self-centered written down, but hear me out.) I am not the kind of person to really let people close. If they start to get to close, I shut down a little bit. But later, of course I mourn over the fact that I have no one especially close to me. (I know, its super ironic, and its all my own fault.) There aren't very many people that I can actually stand to be around for too long, before I get bored or annoyed with them.

That is why I am so grateful for you, Best Friend. I can spend a whole weekend with just you, and I never get annoyed or bored. I know that I can be so difficult, even when I do my best to hide it; and you put up with me. Even when I say things that show you just how terrible of a person I am, you continue to like me anyways, and I will forever be grateful for that. You are sweet, kind, and genuinely caring, and a much better person than I can claim to be.

Another confession, Best Friend, if you will continue to read. An irrational fear of mine is that no one really likes me, and that I am surrounded by really nice people who would never say they hated me, even if they did. I am afraid that these nice people just sort of tolerate me, and do not actually enjoy my company. (As you know, I am not always the most pleasant person to be around.) I have been assured by others that this is definitely not true many times; but you, Best Friend, are one of the few that can make me believe it. You are one of the few people that I am sure likes me, because you are so genuine in everything you do.

Best Friend, I am forever grateful for all that you've done for me. You have made me believe in my likability factor as a person, when I sometimes really doubt it. You are always there to spend time with me on empty weekends, and are a beautiful constant in my life. I know that no friendship can last forever, but dear God, I pray ours does.

Eternally grateful, -Me