Suicide (5sos)

8..Bye..not?..

Song at the top is what describes this chapter so watch it and listen carefully while reading, grab a box of tissues..

.

.

I know what to do things are getting to hard, I walk into the bathroom and grab the pills i have that have a skull on them.

I spill 7 of them on my palm and look at them, am i actually ready for this to flow through my vains, am i ready for some stupid ass pills to ruin my life, am i ready to see my parents all depressed and crying, am i ready to watch my sister being pushed around and not do anything.

I dump the pills in the sink and notice what i wanted to do ,think about it do i want a person to ruin my life and ruin the memories i had, am i ready to say bye to everyone, how could i be so selfish, remember everything that heppens around the world and think i have worst.

I began to cry how could i be so stupid i get off my beanbag and stomp to the bathroom and look in the mirror, i dont have to be like this, i can be happy and enjoying my life and what am i doing, thinking about death and not actually opening my eyes , i see the world in black and white and i should be seeing it in color.

I grab all the razors and flush them down the toilet, I grab the pills not tempted anymore im disgusted about i never had respect to my body, how i never felt happy to the things my parent spent so much time and money to give me joy

I dump them in the bin, i take the bin and throw it into the other bin where i will never see it again. I run back inside and run up to my mother and start to cry.

"April! What happen?!" My mother asked in a worried voice. And i couldnt see my mom always cared about me , i must have been really blind.

"Mom im so sorry i always cut and never respected you, im sorry i was never happy about the things you gave me, im sorry that i did'nt reapesct MYSELF."I said crying even harder

"Dad Im sorry I never cared about your premossions and when you had a very important buisness trip that could make our life much better im sorry, sorry that i messed up!" I cried harder and harder.

"April you never messed up, we always loved you not that we had to we loved you for who you were as a person, behind all that past and demons which messed with your head" My dad said hugging me so tight i could bearly breath and thats when i realised our family will be finally reunited!

Then i hear the doorbell adn one of the maids anwser making only the sound of her heals clicking. When she opens the door and there staands the Ashton Irwin.

"IM really sorry to disturb you but i think i left my phone here." Ashton said looking a bit confused, I run out of my dads arms and into Ashtons still crying.

"Ashton im so sorry i had to make you go through all of that, all of the not making me jump off that bridge, all of that nearly killing myself but now ive realised i was so stupid and blind to notice what was actually happening, i lost all my chances of making friends with you and the boys, Im sorry for making you go through all of that stupidity i trulley am" I said cying while he was still hugging me.

"April i know you feel ive been through all of that and i sesnt bother me anyway Im also sorry i couldnt help you from the begining of all that torture"Ashton said with streaming down his face aswell and thats when i spent the whole day with him snuggeling into his side and a blanket.

.

.

.

.

Anyone crying cause im not and i didnt get any activitys on this so does this mean its shit?

That chapter didnt even take me any time planning it it came straight from the heart and soul, i dont cut but a few days ago a took a small mirror without a frame and scratched my wrist with it, i didnt do damage but i did feel releife.

Vote comment and tell me about you problems

Love ..

-Peach