Suicide (5sos)

The beginning..

Every  chapter ill add a sad song cause they give me insperation and yes i can sing along to every single one..no i dont cut.. also i wall add outfits on the top so i wont have to explain tchem cause im lazy and bad at writing...

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'Cut,cut,cut with a blade' Is all my mind is saying its either somthing thats encourages me to cut or feel like shit. What do you except from a suicidal teenage girl, unicorns,flowers and rainbowas cause all i get is rain, blood and Calum Hood but hey thats not the point.

People say hold on tight but how can i win if i already lost my fight well thats at least what my mind says and i agree.

I sit in my old beat up room, glass and dirt everywere. Okay maybe its not my room but the attic is like my second house where i can cut and feel the pain i deserve.

I stand up and walk down the really long staircase In the mansion i call 'Home'.While i walk down these hella long stairs i migh interduce myself.

Im April, im 17 years old and i have a rich mother and step father. My acctual father is behind bars for child abuse. I have 4 siblings but im the only child that is not Davids, my stepfather, child.

I have 2 sisters and 2 brothers. Molly and Holly are twins ,they are 11 years old .My brothers are Hunter and Josh.

I play piano, flute,drums,bass guitar, acustic guitar and electrics. I also play the violin and the harp.

When i reacht the bottom of the stairs i walk to the very modern kitchen .I grab an apple and a glass of water and sit down at the table i take out my phone and stare at my homescreen, its me and Luke Hemmings the only thing that keeps me alive well at least for now.