Comebacks, jokes, insults

Break Up lines

this part is for all you b!tches with all the cheesey break up line

like:

honey its not you its me

so here you go

^-^

"Is it hot in here or is this relationship suffocating me?"

"I just can’t take the bad sex anymore".

"I’ll always remember last night, but I think we can forget about tomorrow."

"Roses are red, Violets are blue. Garbage is dumped, now so are you."

"Do you believe in love at first sight? How about misery after three years?"

"I now pronounce you dumped and single. You may now kiss my ass."

"You’re perfect in every way, just not for me."

"It's not you...it's your taste in music"

"Hey baby, are you being followed? Because I've been seeing people behind your back."

"Maybe this is not the right time for us"

"Really, our time together has just become more effort than you’re worth."

"I wish I could say you were the most special person in the world, but you’re not."

We're just at different points in our lives"

"I just can’t handle the distance....Sorry."

"Maybe we’re not compatible"

"You’re not Mr. Right.... just Mr. Right Now."

"You just don't get me like you use to."

"I need space."

"I just can’t live with the pathetic tickles that you call ‘sexual thrusts’ anymore."

"Sorry I stopped contacting you. I had to go back to rehab."

"I need to find myself and I just can't do that with you."

"I was asked to make a choice. If I had not been asked, I may have chosen differently".

"My dick is committed to you, but my heart is not."

"You deserve better and so do I."

"I think you feel more than I do and I don’t want to hurt you"

"We should be free to meet our special someone"

"Sorry Stacy, but I think I'm in love with your mom"

"I found a new running partner."

"Hey babe, you heard of the movie 'Other people'"

"Yeah, why?"

"I think we should see it"

"I'm sorry but you don't smoke weed."

"I took a gamble and chose you, now i believe i made the wrong choice"

"This isn’t easy and neither are you...I’m breaking up with you."

"I still care about you, but I just don’t find my heart jumping out of my chest when I see you anymore."

"I think you love me more than I love you."

"My cat doesn't like you."

"We are like a broken mirror. It is better to leave it broken than hurt yourself trying to fix it.

"I need time to focus on my career."

"Look, our relationship is like doing push ups on your knees... It's just not working out"

"We can still be friends...."

"If it's meant to be it's meant to be....but just to be clear it isn't."

"I need to learn to love myself before I can love you"

"It's not because I don't like you, it's because I hate you"

"I think our timing is off"

"I’m looking for a long-term relationship and I just can’t pursue that with you."

"The longer we are together, the less serious I am about you."

"I treated this relationship like my diet, one cheat day a week."

"Roses are red,violets are blue. We're breaking up beacause i never loved you."

"Maybe we should take a break.."

"There's something I've been wanting to say since the day we met.....goodbye"

"Can we still share a netflix account?"

"You should search for someone with the same principles and values."

"You just know me too well, and that freaks me out." 

"We don’t make each other happy, is that what you want to hear?"

"Remember when I asked you out? Well, I was talking to the girl behind you"

"Our relationship is like a fat guy, What? It's not working out." 

"I feel like I’m changing, and though I do love you and I really like spending time with you, I’m not as ‘in love’ with you anymore.."

"I don’t want the responsibility of someone else’s happiness."

"Maybe we have too much in common. We are too much alike."

Girl: Want to see a magic trick?                                                                   Boyfriend: Sure.                                                                                         Girl: Poof your single.

Boy: Want to hear a joke?                                                                                 Girlfriend: Sure.                                                                                         Boy: Our relationship.

 Girl: Your ex is so attractive                                                                       Boy: Which one?                                                                                        Girl: ME....BYE. 

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~awsome~