Love in Death

Have you ever felt drawn to someone you had never met but only heard of? Have you ever felt a connection to someone that didn’t exist… someone that was dead?

I have…

It all started in my History class at the University of Kentucky. I was a sophomore and it was the start of a brand new semester. I walked inside, took my seat in the middle section, five rows back. I pulled out my notebook and pen, ready to start taking notes. I observed the other students walking in, recognizing a few but none of the others.

My excitement grew, wondering if I would make any new friends in this class. Some seemed friendly enough but my true attention was caught when a girl took a seat at the desk to the right of me.

She had long blonde hair that had a slight wave to it, with eyes that looked green or blue, I couldn’t tell. She had a petite frame, most likely shorter than me with an average build- not too skinny and not chunky with curves in all the right places- a body I would die for. She wore shorts, a V-neck t-shirt and flip-flops. Nothing special but I felt a connection with her.

Later on in that class, I found out her name is Lilly, she lived on campus, and she was majoring in Nursing. Over the next few weeks, I found out more about this really nice girl but she carried around a sadness due to the death of a close family member- her twin brother, Larkin.

When I went to her dorm to hang out one day after classes, I found a picture sitting on her nightstand. In it was a younger Lilly laughing while a guy around her age was tickling her sides, a big grin on his face. I knew it was her brother because the resemblance was uncanny. He had the same blonde hair, and his eyes were also green but slightly darker than Lilly’s. He was lean and muscular with an incredible smile.

He was beautiful.

In that instant, my world changed. Like Lilly, I was inexplicably drawn to him, like a moth to a flame, and yet I had never met him and never would. How was that possible? Was it only because I knew his sister and she was quickly becoming my best friend? Or was it only because he was the most handsome guy I had ever seen? My boyfriend would kill me for thinking it, but I wasn’t blind.

I observed the rest of her room and found other pictures of him scattered about, most of them with her but a couple of just himself. In all of them he was smiling that gorgeous smile. I could tell he had been a confident guy but not the type that was annoying but he had that guy-next-door vibe.

Lilly and I were sitting on her bed, working on a project for History when she noticed I was distracted.

“I know it’s a sore subject, but I was curious about your brother. What was he like?” I saw her slightly flinch, but she put her pen down and took a deep breath, preparing herself to answer my question.

“He was the best guy I knew; my best friend. He was always there whenever I needed him, no matter what he was doing, he would drop it and come to me. We did everything together, had the same friends, the same interests. He was my other half.” I could tell it was hard for her to say all this, but I needed to know more- I needed to know everything about this man. I couldn’t explain it.

“I’m so sorry… I know that’s lame to say but I don’t know what else to say. I’ve never lost someone close to me so I can’t even imagine what that must be like.” She simply shrugged and offered a wistful smile.

“It was devastating but I know he would never want me to be sad because he’s gone. He would’ve wanted me to live my life to the fullest extent. It took me awhile to realize that. I was in a pretty bad place for a long time after he passed but I’m doing much better.” I nodded and smiled, hugging her because I knew she needed it.