Love in Death

Chapter 4

I don’t remember the drive back to my dorm room or changing into my pajamas. I just remember waking up and relishing those few moments where I thought last night had been a horrible nightmare.

My relief shattered when I felt Lilly shift in my bed beside me. Flashes of the events that occurred last night flitted through my mind like a slideshow. I closed my eyes tight, wishing them away. I threw back the covers and sat on the edge of my bed, my hands cradling my head. I sucked in large amounts of air, trying to calm down my racing heart.

Breathe in… breathe out…

A few minutes later I felt slightly better. I looked at Lilly and realized she was still fast asleep. I have no clue how we both slept in my tiny twin bed. I looked at my roommate’s empty bed and was relieved that she hadn’t stayed here last night. She didn’t stay here most nights though because her boyfriend had an apartment close to campus.

Boyfriend…

I held back a sob and stood up, needing to do something besides sit there and wallow in self-pity. That never accomplished anything. I quickly changed into some jeans and a hoodie, not caring how I looked. I pulled on my sneakers and quickly jotted down a note for Lilly in case she woke up while I was out.

It was freezing but I relished the coldness, for it helped numb my sadness and anger. Campus was deserted because most people were heading home for the holidays. I was so grateful to be going home tomorrow. I knew my family would pry and I would tell them the gory details but at least I would be around people who loved me, who didn’t stab me in the back.

I walked with no destination in mind, just to clear my head. My lips and cheeks were numb and I knew I couldn’t stay out here too much longer. I looked ahead and saw two guys approaching. I squinted, trying to see if I recognized them and felt a jolt of excitement when I realized one of them was Trevor. I smiled and waved to him and he returned the gesture, saying something to his friend before jogging towards me.

“Hey, what are you doing out here? It’s freezing!” He bundled his coat closer to his body and I nodded, doing the same. Why hadn’t I worn a coat? I wasn’t sure if Lilly had told him anything about what happened last night and judging by his smiling face, I figured not.

“Just trying to clear my head. I was actually going back in soon.” He nodded before stepping closer to me.

“Well hey, do you wanna grab a coffee or something?” My eyes widened, wondering if he meant it as a date or just a friendly outing.

“Uh, sure, I guess so.” I followed him across the street to a cute little hole in the wall café that Lilly and I frequented often. There were dozens around campus.

I sighed in relief when we stepped inside and felt the heat wash over my frozen limbs. I almost moaned when I drank the first sip of my steaming cappuccino. I had been much colder than I realized.

We engaged in polite conversation for a few moments and I was surprised how comfortable and natural it felt to sit there with him, like we had been friends for years. He was very easy to talk to and I found myself opening up to him.

“Look, I hope I’m not prying but I noticed you seem a little down today.” I looked down at my coffee cup grasped lightly in my hands, wondering if I should go with my gut and trust this guy. This man who I had only known a couple days but felt this weird connection to.

“I, uh, caught Carter with another girl last night at James’ party.” I looked down again, embarrassed and ashamed. I couldn’t look him in the eye and see what he must think of me.

“Seriously? That fucking... I’m really sorry, Nora. Want me to beat him up for you?” I looked up and saw his smirk, but also saw a serious anger simmering just below the surface.