"So does baby James feel better for releasing his bladder?" Sirius asked in a cooing tone.
"Yes, I do." James replied. "Now, we are to get going on our adventure." He smiled.
"Righto boys." I replied. We started walking silently towards the small exit we used back in our time. As of the map we knew all the little coves and corners of this old castle.
"Remus?" A girl asked. I turned my head in her direction.
"Yes?" I answered.
"Where are you going?" She asked. It was Lucie from dinner.
"Look babe, its none of your business." Sirius replied. She looked at him.
"Babe?" She asked. "You know that 'babe' is an incredibly lame word to refer to the female gender. It also implies that I would be your lover or spouse, or that it was an affectionate form of address, typically for someone with whom one has a sexual or romantic relationship. We don't have any of them. We, the female gender, are no more of a babe than you are a charmer." She scoffed. "Next time you call a girl babe, I hope she punches you in the mouth, with a chair."
"Well, its not your time of the month." He replied.
"Before you blame it on the natural thing called menstruation, realise that not all girls like boyish phrases like babe or bae or whatever else you call us. I'm also allowed to be angry other days of the month, not just the ones when I bleed out of my-"
"-Right, yep. We understand." I cut her off. God, with these two idiots any name of the female anatomy would be catastrophic, especially the one she was about to say.
"Well, that escalated quickly." Sirius said under his breath, which in return received a deadly glare from Lucie.
"We're just going out for a stroll Lucie, we'll be back by the morning." I smiled and with that she left.
"Why are you such an idiot?" James asked.
"Excuse me?" Sirius answered.
"Well, Remus could have finished that with a simple word like: 'out' or 'home'." James retorted.
"Fellas, lets get to Hogsmeade and then have a domestic." I sighed.
"Yea, not in front of the kids." Sirius replied.
We walked out of the castle and towards the little village. We were used to sneaking out at night, especially during a full moon. We knew the way like the back of our hands, though it took twice as long as Sirius would stop and look in every rabbit burrow or badger hole. It was like taking a child outside for the first time.
We finally got to the old hut. It was exactly the same as we had left it; a battered table and chairs, with small notes of paper and messages left from over time. We sat at the table and put our bags on the floor.
"Who would name their kid Draco?" James asked as he looked at the name carved into the hut. "And why do they carve their names into the hut? Don't they have respect for this old thing?" He turned to look at Sirius and I.
"Draco? Sounds like something Narcissa and Lucius would call their kid. Does it say a surname?" Sirius asked.
"No, it just says Draco rules, then underneath it, it says: nothing but dirty pants." He chuckled. "Draco rules nothing but dirty pants."
"It doesn't really make sense. Does he look good in dirty pants or is it an insult, because I rule this look and that's a good thing." Sirius replied.
"What do you think Mooney?" James asked. I was nodding off.
"I, I don't know. I'm too tired for my brain to function." And with that my head went onto the table and I didn't wake up until I felt James' hand on my back.
"Do it James." Sirius whispered. James snickered quietly.
"What are you two doing to me?" I asked as I shot up from my position, my eyes adjusting to the sight that laid ahead.
"Nothing." They both replied quickly. Too quickly. I glared at them.
"We never thought about food." I replied as I licked my lips and removed the sleep from my eyes. Sirius looked at me in horror, as he to realised that we were out of body fuel. "Good thing I have these chocolate frogs." I smiled as I brought out three of them. "I can have one now, one for lunch and one for pudding or dinner."
"Chocolate frogs?" Sirius whimpered.
"It's a shame that you boys were doing something, most likely humiliating, to me." I unwrapped one and held it tight in my hand so it didn't jump away. "Or maybe I'll throw these two away."
"James was gonna pet you or stroke your hair like a dog." Sirius replied quickly. Not moving his eyes from the chocolate. I smiled.
"Thank you." I passed him one. "Would you like the other James?"
"Yeah, but in all honesty, what are we gonna do for food?" James asked, her furrowed his brows in confusion.
"Or what about a shower?" I asked.
"Well that's not a priority Mooney." Sirius replied.
"Actually it is." I replied, looking at him with disgust. He just ignored me.
"Maybe we should have stayed at the castle and then gone home. What if we do something wrong and don't get back?" James asked.
"Well, then Dumbledore would find us. He's all knowing, he'll find us in no time." I replied.
"But we'll be in more trouble than usual and my mother may have a heart attack if she finds out I've been to the future." James added.
"Well it was your plan Potter." Sirius answered him. "To be honest my mother wouldn't care."
"Well, my mother would probably join Mrs Potter and go into cardiac arrest." I put in. "Why on Earth did we agree to do this?"
"God knows. Lupin, your the smart one, you should have told us to stay!"
"Really? This is my fault?" I scoffed.
"No, no your right. It's mine." James replied.
"We should go back then?" Sirius asked.
"No, that would be humiliating after we left in secret, we stay." James answered.
"What?" I asked. "Your incredibly hypocritical this morning."
"We're the smartest group, by far the most creative and obviously the most mischievous boys in our school." James replied. "And Hogwarts is our school."
"Wh-what are you getting at?" I asked.
"Be quiet." James hushed me. "We're gonna get back in and Dumbledore wont even know we were gone!" He exclaimed.
"James, the one obvious flaw in that plan is that it is ten o'clock." I blew out my cheeks. "Lessons start at eight." He looked at me in horror. "We've essentially been missing for two hours."
"Oh." He looked at the ground.
"Nice pep talk though. Really inspiring." I added.
"Why don't you think of a plan?" He asked.
"Well I have."
"What is it?" Sirius asked.
"We go back and pretend we were never gone."
"And that'll work?" James asked.
"When you were naming what we were great at you forgot one."
"What did I forget?"
"We're the best liars in the Wizarding world." I smiled.
