I finally asked him if it was anything I had done at the end of January. It took him until February 15 to respond to me. Saying he was struggling with school and work, and had a rough break-up.
Part 1 of me: "yes, I finally have a chance with him I just want to love him. Please just love me!" My heart shouted
Part 2 of me: "you need to comfort him. He is hurting and struggling and needs you and God right now. " My brain exclaimed
And this time my brain was the winner of the battle.
So I said to him, " I apologize for being selfish when really I should've thought of your well being. I'm always here. If you need to talk or vent, or anything. I didn't get the job position. Which was heartbreaking but I kept being assured by loved ones that God had a bigger plan. Maybe taking a step back and looking at the bigger picture of your life for a few minutes wouldn't be so bad. Read the bible. Talk to God. See what he's thinking. If something calls out to you, go for it. If not, then don't stress about it for a while and maybe it will come to you. As of your break-up. Those suck ass. And crazily enough as it is. The cure for that is time, and focusing more on yourself. And you're not a human train wreck. God just has something for you and sometimes it's hard to understand, but maybe if you direct your struggles towards him he'll guide you in the right direction. That's my advice. I hope you have a wonderful day. Don't be afraid to respond. I've just missed you, I'm not mad at you at all. Sometimes it's good to step back from everyone "
I said that with a huge amount of best friend and a slight amount of wishful girlfriend..and ever since I sent that...I haven't heard from him since. It made my question, "will fate step in?" Aka God? Because all I really want to do...Is to grow old with him.
