When It All Made Sense

Why We were Two Different Puzzle Pieces

I entered the café and was able to immediately locate the Chinito swimmer who made the last few months tolerable for me. I have much to thank him for; the support when I needed someone to tell me it was going to be okay, the laughter when the pain got too overwhelming and I doubted if it will ever pass, and just the overall positive changes he brought into my life.

Before Joseph Marco, I was this overly shy girl with big dreams who had let way too many opportunities pass by because I was scared. I was an overachiever, but I was too scared to try new things because I was too afraid to find out that I'm bad at it. I was locked up because of my very own fear of not being good enough, and he came my way to show me that there is no shame in failure. 

He helped me free myself from that fear.

As I spent more time with him, I noted how easier it got to just let loose. Truth be told, the first time we met was the first time I actually had the guts to flirt with anyone. He managed to bring me out of my shell, to be comfortable in my own skin. With him, there was no pretense — there was no need to try.

"Uy, maaga siya oh!" I told him as I reached the table he occupied.

With his signature Chinito smiling eyes and smug grin he responded good naturedly, "ayoko kasi pinaghihintay yung fan ko eh."

I took a seat in front of him, and placed my bag and laptop on the table. "Sira! Uy, umorder ka na ba? Baka magkalimutan sa libre ha. May atraso ka kaya sa akin."

And on cue the waiter served the meals he ordered, and my eyes must have glittered with happiness for Joseph Marco teased, "ay maligaya yung bata oh! Basta talaga pagkain, happy siya! Kahit walang love life, basta hindi gutom haha."

I snubbed his teasings and devoured my bear claws — they're just sooo good. 

When I was done, I focused my attention on him to find him staring at me. Parting my bangs and batting my eyelashes, I joked, "so mahal mo na ko? Sabi ko naman sayo di ba, don't you dare fall in love with me!"

He kidded back channeling his chinito Sam Milby, "I never said that I love you!"

This is how it has always been with us, just effortless. There is no trying; we just blend and have the time of our lives. With him, I am more myself than I have ever been. And that I found weird because I have changed so much over the span of a few months, yet I felt more in tune with myself now.

"So bakit ka nag-aya? Alam mo naman na kailangan ng appointment sa akin di ba? Wala akong panahon sa mga trivial matters mo, kuya." And a thought came into mind, alam ko na to. 

"Babae na naman ba to?"

He laughed for a moment but turned serious as if a thought interrupted his amusement. With all seriousness he asked, "feeling mo ba puro babae lang iniintindi ko? Akala ko pa naman alam mo, na kilala mo ako."

It was weird, hearing pain in his voice, and that made me feel bad about my joke. 

I reached for his hand and told him, "uy, grabe joke lang yun! Ito naman, alam ko naman na you don't find happiness in breaking hearts. Ikaw lang ata ang playboy na may puso haha!"

His lips turned into a small smile but I felt a sadness and doubt in him, and I knew then those came from much deeper than a joke. Shit, may problema nga.