When It All Made Sense

Why There is No Saving Perfection.

From: Honey

Honey, I'll be late for dinner but we got reservations, so kahit mauna ka na doon. I'll be there, promise. Just 15-30 minutes late. Love yah! ❤

I received the text about 2 hours and a bottle of champagne ago, but alas he remains missing in action. Not only was I feeling cold from wearing such a short dress for the occasion, I was feeling so hungry that I was afraid I might say really God-awful things to him should he decide to show up. You simply do not mess with a lady who spent took a half-day, spent the afternoon prepping up herself for a date she expected to be the last saving grace — only to be stood up. 

I should get used to this by now. This was nothing new —I should be able to fully understand that I am dating a driven and ambitious man. It has been 4 years of dating the most workaholic and stringent man I have ever known. The late hours at work, the messages he often failed to reply to, the endless apologies for missed chances and dates.

"Shit, honey. I'm so sorry, I had to attend a last minute meeting and traffic was hellish as usual. Akala ko talaga wala ka na." He apologized, uttering the same old line I've become so familiar with I can already hear it in my sleep. He looked out of breath but ever the composed and well-dressed person that he was, he did not look out of place in the expensive restaurant.

I shrugged it off and didn't look him in the eye. There was something about today that did not feel right. Today was meant to be special because in this time and age, 4 years was a good run for a relationship between 2 millenials eagerly trying to find a place in this world. Between juggling work, staying connected with friends, and occasionally showing up at family dinners, we made it work. Two very determined and highly independent persons managed to build on a relationship that outlasted many of our friends' romantic stories.

Maybe how noticed that I was lost in my own thoughts and that I didn't seem to be in a forgiving mood. He took my hand and squeezed it, "hon, please. I'm really, really sorry. You know these things happen. We have to work harder than everyone else if we want to build a good future di ba. We don't want to just throw away what could be a good opportunity to show the big bosses what we are truly capable of di ba?"

Logical, he was always so logical and reasonable about things. He was a planner, and he has time-specific goals just like me. Those traits I found so attractive when we met years ago, but today, through the eyes of a girl who felt taken for granted and who felt lost, I hated that he made so much sense. I hated that he was right, and that emotions aside, I would have done the same thing if it were me in his position.

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"Alam mo feeling ko talaga ikaw yung gusto nila ma-elect na next president ng org, Mika. Yung mga tanong pa lang sayo nung deliberations, halatang they wanted to know hanggang saan ang ibubuga mo eh." Majoy, who also joined our academic organization, noted as we walked out of the library.

Walking as fast as I could as it was a little past noon and the heat would be the death of me, I responded to her in a huff. "Ano ka ba, siyempre lahat kami gisado sa kanila di ba. Kinabukasan kaya ng org nakasalalay dito noh. Plus I feel hindi naman ako yung napupusuan nila eh. If anything, feeling ko si Jeanine iboboto nila considering she was in the executive committee last year. Anong laban ko sa background at experience niya di ba?"