HEY! HERE IS MY UPDATE! IVE ALREADY GOTTEN MORE READS THAN I EXPECTED, THANKS FOR THAT! BUT REMEMBER TO COMMENT! HOPE YOU LIKE IT!!!
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Love Me Beautiful (Part 2)
When i had finally woke up, mom still wasn't home. my head swam as i sat up, and my face was stained with tears. My eyes felt gritty and my hair was all bloody. I got up slowly, sore from sleeping on the hard wood floors. Music blared from my sisters room, but at the time i didn't really hear it, i didn't really fell anything. I went into the bathroom and striped away the bloody cloths and got into the shower, the hot water burned the cut
on the back of my head, and washed away the blood and grime, it felt so good. The pain began to spike harder than the last time. I curled over on myself, tears slipped past and i cried out. It was awful, the pain spread from my heart to my lungs stomach and from there to everywhere else. I screamed, screamed at the top of my lungs. i turned off the water and stumbled out of the shower, wrapped up in a towel, then i got dressed with a painful slowness. I collapsed on my bed, curled up in a ball and cried. I hadn't cried like this since the pain had begun. The pain got worse and worse until my vision blurred, and i lost conciseness.
I woke up to mom shaking me, asking me if i was ok, i just moaned and rolled over. She could see the trail of tears that still streaked my face. I couldn't hear the blare of my sisters music anymore, i wondered if she had gone out, i hoped she was careful. i finally fully came to when my mom asked me what had happened in the kitchen. She had seen the blood. i told her i fell, i didn't want her yelling at Night again. She looked at my head, then cleaned it and wrapped my head. The gash was about 7 inches long and went to my skull. I should have to have stitches, but i refused to go to the hospital. I hated the hospital, the antiseptic, chorine, and medicated smell. I hated doctors, and needles, and the rustle of there lab coats. I was there all the time, and i hated it bitterly. When i think of everything id been through, i began to fight the pain. I didn't minde that i was going to die, but i refused to die easily. If my life had to be short, then i decide that i wanted to make and impact on the world. Mom left the room quietly, as i rolled over in a haze of pain and thoughts. I wanted to have some kind of impact, but how would i do it?
Two weeks had passed, and graduation was only a week away. I was thrilled that i was going to be able to graduate. I had talked to my headmaster, he said i could be the one to speak at graduation, i was thrilled. This was a good place to start changing SOMETHING. What i didn't know, but it was a start. We got fitted for our robes, my scores on my ACT's where perfection, and many colleges offered me full scholarships, but i finally settled on one. I was going to take speaking, and many classes on writing. I began to write about my life, something i would have mom publish after i died. She would find it when she went through my stuff, a note attached would ask her to read it, and then publish it for me. I was already asking to give speeches at different places, like at colleges and hospitals.
The next time i saw Logan, he was bringing my sister home. I sighed, and asked him what happened. "She stumbled to my door drunk as hell, and a total mess, crying over you, or i think she was, it was hard to tell what she was saying......" He helped me get her to her room, where i tucked her in, she was out in seconds. I sighed, what an idiot. I wished she wouldn't do this to her self. I would stay, with the pain, if i could only stop her from hurting herself like this. When we walked out and shut the door, Logan hugged me, i hadn't seen him in a few days, so i was happy he was here. I kissed him and he kissed me back. I asked him to stay with me for dinner tonight, and he did.
A few more days ticked by. College was going great. and my 18th birthday was only four days away. I had told my college professor that i wanted to give my speech the day before my 18th birthday, he new i was going to be gone soon, even though the cancer was only in my heart now, i was still weak, and getting weaker. It didn't make any since though, because i should be getting stronger. My best friend, Callie, Took me shopping for a party that she had planned for me for my birthday. We talked just as girls for the first time in awhile. When we went home, she had gotten a short blue dress, with no back, 3 inch high matching blue pumps, a black necklace with matching bracelets and earrings and some new makeup.
I myself had gotten a black dress, that tied behind my neck with no back. My necklace was a black choker with a moon pendent, simple silver bangles, and silver hoop earrings. I got some silver eyeshadow to go with it, black mascara, and silver eyeliner, and lip gloss.
The Days flew by, and then i was all of a sudden standing in front of my class as they all took there seats, waiting to hear my speech. My classmates didn't know of my cancer, so when the professor told them i would be giving the lecture today, they were all very confused. Then he gave me the floor and i began.
"After today, i wont be coming back most likely. I am going to have to go through months and months of Chemotherapy and hospitalization, because i have Terminal heart cancer. Two years ago, i was told i had cancer, and had only a year to live, so far i have lived past what they expected. My cancer, is unlike anything they have ever seen, it spread through out my body, then suddenly vanished back to only being in my heart. I SHOULD be getting better but instead, I'm getting worse."
The hushed whispers spread through the class, then as they quieted down, i began the rest of my story. The lecture lasted for the whole class, but when the bell rang and my speech wasn't over, not a one of them moved. Almost everyone had leaned forward and was listing intently to everything i had to say, finally as i finished i said.
"Thank you, for letting me speak here today, for letting me tell you my story, but this wasn't for you, or for me, but for the people i will have to leave behind." Then, i walked out of the classroom, in the hush of there silence. A few tears escaped as i walked away, but after that i felt much better. . . . .
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THATS ALL I GOT FOR NOW!! REMBER TO COMMENT!!! X)
