Tell Me About Homosexuals (kkselfcest)[BOOK2]

Chapter 5 : First Date(hella not)

The week was a fast and utterly boring week. Dave attempted to visit Karkat at work when he could but it usually wasn't that often and this week was no different than any other week. The shop was hot and clammy just as his last week and the costumers where antsy as usual. He didn't fully understand the humans world and dependence on junk food. Why couldn't humans get their own food? It was a question that bothered him quite a bit when he was alone.

Not only did he question why they couldn't get their own food but he questioned why the humans had so much trust in one another. He watched others in the back spitting on the patties and even purposefully dropping items on the floor. At the front desk everyone was happy faces and cheery eyes but behind the walls in the kitchen their true colors shown brightly in shades of repulsive colors.

His skin was a light gloss from the sweat as he left work, passing by the electrition there to fix the ac finally. He got a ride from Dave like always and sat in the passenger seat, hands and fingers entangled together during the silent trip. It was always nice to ride in silence every so often, Karkat enjoyed it for many reasons, one being that it gave him the ability to clear his mind and soak in the presence of his matesprite.

They arrived to the apartment and made their way up to the room before collapsing on the unsanitary couch. Dave was on top of Karkat as they lay there. Their eyes were shut as they took in small breaths, hands and arms holding one another tight and close. The day was a busy one and tiring enough that they didn't even want to do anything but sleep.
Suddenly, a chime could be heard in the other room. It sounded like it was Trollian. Karkats eyes squinted open and glared in the general direction of the bedroom and hissed sourly for he did not want to leave the comfort of this couch and his mate whom was heavily above him and being a sort of comfort to him.

"Jeez, don't have to growl about a message."

"Well maybe if the numbskull who messaged me had waited for when we weren't cuddling i wouldn't have growled."

"You're adorable."

"Shut up Fuckface."

They continued to lay together for a bit longer, fingers brushing through each others hair silently as Daves face nuzzled into the trolls shoulder.

The chiming started again, whoever it was becoming inpatient.

He sighed and wiggled away from Dave, the human whining in response, and lazily made his way to the bedroom, his feet stomping just a bit and surely annoying the down stairs neighbors.

carcinoGeneticist [CG] began pestering carcinoGeneticist [CG]

CG: Hey you fucking tool.
CG: Could you maybe fucking explain why the hell we have the same exact chumhandle?
CG: But more importantly
CG: what the fuck is going on here?
CG: Because frankly, /i/ have no god damn clue.

He blinked and sat down in his chair with a thump, sighing to himself mostly about the fact that he was about to have this conversation.

CG: WELL HELLO TO YOU TOO DOUCH MUFFIN.
CG: I GUESS YOUVE NEVER HEARD OF ALTERNATE TIMELINES THEN?
CG: TO BE HONEST THOUGH I WOULD HAVE LIKED IT MORE IF I DIDNT HAVE TO DEAL WITH A PINK HAIRLESS MONKEY VERSION OF MYSELF THAT IS PROBABLY WAY MUCH MORE OF A SCREW UP THAN I AM.
CG: Ha ha ha.
CG: You're so fucking comical you should become a comedian.
CG: Yes i know what an au is, i hear about theme all the time when the nerd gang goes on about their favorite fandoms.
CG: I just don't understand why and how there are two of me for christs sake!
CG: ITS CALLED I CREATED YOU YOU PIECE OF BLUBBERING WASTE.
CG: uhm what?
CG: I AM THE PATHETIC GOD YOU HUMANS BOW DOWN TO DUMBFUCK. I PLAYED A GAME WITH SOME FRIENDS AND WE CREATED THE UNIVERSE THAT YOU LIVE IN NOW.
CG: THATS HOW THIS IS AN INKLING OF A POSIBILITY
CG: No, okay you are obviously even more stupid than i could possibly imagine because that is not what i had asked at all.
CG: WHY are YOU here and speaking to ME on the SAME PLANET.
CG: I WAS HOPING THAT EXPLINATION COULD DETOUR US FROM THE TOPIC BECAUSE HONESTLY I HAVE NO FUCKING CLUE.
CG: brilliant.
CG: look
CG: lets just get some coffee with one another and talk this shit out and figure out how this is working
CG: WHY WOULD I DO THIS FOR YOU EXACTLY?
CG: WHY WOULD I EVEN WANT TO DRINK COFFEE WITH YOU OF ALL PEOPLE?
CG: IM NOT GOING TO DRINK COFFEE WITH A MORE SO PATHETIC VERSION OF ME.
CG: ill teach you Latin
CG: WHAT
CG: WHY WOULD I CARE ABOUT THAT?
CG: Latin is an awesome fucking language to know dude. The romance novels are also pretty bad ass and worthy of any Karkat Vantas's attention and i dont want another me to be deprived of such a pleasure.
CG: AND?
CG: i also wanna learn troll language
CG: OH?
CG: and your stupid romance shit and ill even tell you about human romance.
CG: I ALREADY KNOW WHAT HUMAN ROMANCE IS SHIT STAIN. I HAVE A HUMAN MAITSPRITE
CG: and i have a troll boyfriend but that doesnt mean jack shit and you know it
CG: neither of us have complete comprehension of the others terms
CG: and i think that we can help one another out with this.
CG: So lets discuss it over coffee.
CG: SIGH
CG: FINE
CG: WHERE AT?
CG: starbucks. I get a discount there because my boyfriend works at that place.
CG: ALRIGHT... ILL BRING MY MATE ALONG.
CG: yeah okay, dont even ask me. Bye.
CG: BYE

carcinoGeneticist [CG] ceased pestering carcinoGeneticist [CG]