This One's For You

5

Here we are again, hurting each other.

Knives are not the only ones that can cause cuts and wounds, words can too, I learned.

I thought I loved him, I thought he could be you. I thought it'd feel the same. But I never did, he never could, and it never will.

When I realized what I was doing, fear crept inside me. Fear of the monster I became, the monster I said I never would be.

How could I do that? How could I make such a big mistake? How could I manage to hurt you as much as I did? I never wanted this.

I'm not asking for your forgiveness anymore. I'm not asking to patch things up. This 'love' will be the death of us both. All I want now is to fix what I broke. That might take a while 'cause I know I broke a lot. Your trust, your heart, maybe even your whole being.

I want you to let it all out. The rage, disappointment, pain, regret, everything. Until nothing that can destroy you or delay the healing process is left so that you can be brave enough to trust, strong enough to fight, kind enough to give your all without a tiny doubt, so that you can be ready to love not me but maybe the next girl worthy enough to have you.

You may not realize it but you're as rare as those red diamonds. Do you realize how lucky I am? Do I?

"Go out" You whispered.

I went out.

"Look up. What do you see?"

I looked up and said, "The stars, the night sky."

Silence.

"Should I be seeing something else? Because that'd be quite weird."

"We are like the stars"

Hm. In what way?

"They may be there for a number of years but there will be new ones too."

Oh. "So I guess we're done then." For good, I hope not.

"Yea."