well,I'm spending my week off dressed as a woman and this g string is killing me. As I got out of the limousine a man stared at me from head to toe,Jermaine walked out holding the girls dog. The man staring at me
then wolf whistled at me.
"HEY MAN YOU GOT A PROBLEM?WHAT YOU LOOKIN AT MY ASS FOR" I shout at him ,he starts running still looking at me
"MAN YOU WANNA SEE SOMETHIN?KISS MY BLACK AS-"
"MICHAEL!" Jermaine says to me shouting but also in a whisper
"MAN HE LOOKIN AT ME LIKE IM
SOME SORT OF GIRL" I shout in my regular voice,not a woman voice
"YOU ARE A GIRL,ACT LIKE IT MIKE" he says to me
"OOO I'd sure like to cut a piece of that cake" another man says to Jermaine
"WHAT?MAN,HOLD MY POODLE" he says handing me the dog which wasn't even a poodle
"YOU WANNA TRY ME,KISS MY BLA-"
"JERMAINE ITS COOPER SHUT UP" I say to him
"Hello beautiful ladies!" Cooper says,of course their job (Alex and Cooper) in the case is to pretend to be hotel workers.
"oh yes!here take baby!! And clean his bag out,poor thing just pooped everywhere!!also teach him how to say 'Taco Bell is amazing' in Spanish and French,thanks Jose!" I say in the most womanly voice possible
"My names actually cooper..."
Jermaine and I walked into the hotel to check in,the person at the desk was of course Alex.
"Hello ladi-" he was cut off when I accidentally slammed my fake cupcakes into the desk making the cup with pens to fall over (A/N,MICHAEL JACKSON USED TO CALL...UM... THE WOMANLY UPPER AREA CUPCAKES)
"I'm so sorry,they're new!" I say
"Dr. Kamzomia did an amazing job!" Jermaine says feeling my fake cupcakes...ew...I kindly slap his hand away
"Oh well,I'd have to see some id please!" Alex says,I look in my "purse" and realize the only ID I had was my own that said Michael Jackson
"WHY DO I NEED ID!!" I shout
"Look Ms. I nee-"
"I'm so FRIKIN pissed! I went to go get my nose job done and I come off the surgery table LOOKIN like freakin shrek! And now I get here and Mr.harper here makes me feel like some dumb blonde with fake boobs! I'm gonna have a B.F!" I say
"SHES GONNA HAVE A BITCH FIT!" Says Jermaine
"look don't have a-a B.F okay! It'll be alrig-" Alex was cut off by BOSS!!!!
"Is there a problem here?"
"YES!THIS MAN IS HARASSING ME" I say
"Issue our V.I.P guests immediately." Says boss
"oh thank you!such a beautiful chocolate man" I say and take the room keys,all of a sudden three girls approach us and start screaming
"They wavin at us?" Jermaine whispers to me
"I don't know man act friendly!" I saw now smiling at the girls
"Well don't act like you don't know us"
Says one of them
"....."
"Tori,Kelly,Beth,don't ring a bell..?" Says who I assume is tori
"OH EM EFFING GEE I HAVENT SEEN YOU IN FOREVER,YOU CHANGE YOUR HAIR" I ask
"No!but it does look a bit frizzed today" she replies
"You gain weight?" Jermaine asks
"NO!" She says Back
"oh you just had a birthday!" I say
"YEAH!" She says
"Okay anyone nice seein you guys" I say as I walk away
"Where do you think you are going?" Tori asks
"To my hotel room..." I say
"UMM NO,YOU ARE COMING TO THE HAMPTONS PARTY" she says
Jermaine gave me the look,like the look that says oh turd.
"oh well okay!" Says Jermaine
We walk in and everyone looks at us
"oh look it's the fhen phen twins" says Kelly
"THEYRE HOT!" I say
"ARE YOU CRAZY!THATS MEGAN AND HEATHER,THEYRE YOUR ENEMIES" Says tori
"look who flew in from the slums of Beverly Hills" says Heather
"SQUEEZE ME?oh no!" I say
"We just saw your new video,they had a screening at saks,5Th avenue" I say
"You mother shops at saks" says Megan
"THEY WANNA TALK ABOUT MAAATHHAAAS!" Jermaine says
"Your mother so dumb she went to dr dre for a Pap smear!"
I say
"your mother is so stupid she exercises when she could just get a liposuction or something" says heather
"your mothers so old that her breast milk is powered,you Breast feed like this" I say as I blow power off my hand and onto heathers hair
"Your mother is so...she's so...UGH YOU GO MEGAN" says heather
"your mothers so dumb she goes to Barney's rooftop deck and orders a nicosie salad and calls it a ni-koise salad!" Says heather
"Your mothers ass is so hairy it looks like Don King is about to pop out and say 'ONLY IN AMERICA" I laugh a little girl laugh with it too. As you can tell,I was going to have a long week worth nothing.
YOU ARE READING
White chicks (Jackson brothers version)
HumorMichael and brother Jermaine are both FBI agents who have had their jobs for just 5 years. What happens when an accident causes both Jermaine and Michael to pretend to be women names Tiffany and Jessica? Well that's for me to write and you to find o...
