I was tagged by horsedancer123 sorry if this is depressing. I'm in a bad mood
1. I'm failing geography right now
2. My shoulder just twitched... that was weird
3. I'm in all Pre AP
4. I'm feeling quite suicidal right now... I wonder when I'll get my meds? Hopefully soon
5. I don't really fit into any stereotypes
6. My handwriting is terrible. You probably couldn't read my engineering notebook if you tried.
7. My mom agrees that my handwriting is terrible. She always asks me to rewrite stuff and she complains about it.
8. In 4th grade I went to occupational therapy for my handwriting. They were thinking of giving me a laptop and making me type instead but they decided not to. I wish they had.
9. I wonder what death is like
10. I am completely unathletic.
11. I have no stamina for running, biking, etc.
12. I hate my hair because it's always frizzy af
13. I used to read all the time but I've lost interest.
14. This is boring
15. My perfect little sister has 100 digits of pi memorized.
16. My depression nearly always finds some way to brush off a compliment.
17. I'll think you want something from me
18. Or you're lying because you feel obligated to
19. Or you're tricking me and you will tell me it's all lies later
20. I used to be smart. I often got 100s on benchmark tests and STAAR tests.
21. I am no longer smart. School is a struggle
22. My mom used to joke about needing to try harder when my report cards came back with 100s.
23. I hate myself
24. I can't stand hurting people. Sometimes I do and I always feel guilty af for it
25. This is going to take a while
26. At least I have time.
27. We did more geometry stuff in engineering today
28. I've gotten skinnier
29. I'm 92 lbs now even though my appetite has been mostly normal.
30. If I wear tight clothes you can see my ribs
31. I think my dad's gun isn't locked up right now. I think I saw the case in my dad's office
32. I don't want to die using a gun though. It's too messy.
33. My mind is a very dark place.
34. It's been two weeks since I last cut
35. I want to cut right now but I'm at school
36. Wow the depression hits hard during shark week
37. I carry a computer mouse around in my backpack
38. I have 24 sharpies and 50 colored pencils in my backpack right now even though I can't draw to save my life
39. I wish I could wear all black but my mom wouldn't let me.
40. I don't even have many black shirts and I have one pair of fancy black pants
41. I can't think of anything else and dwelling on my life is making me sadder so I'm going to stop here. I might add more later.
YOU ARE READING
Emily's Bio || Diary || Journal 2
RandomThis is a continuation of the other journal. I generally update every day when something happens. WARNING: this is very depressing and sad because I have depression. I did make a suicide attempt at the beginning of this book so if you don't like th...
