run ((ON HOLD))

rebel rebel

She wasn't one to open up about her thoughts and feelings. She wasn't one to speak the thoughts in her head. She had a reputation to keep up and an ego to fuel. Speaking about these sorts of things ran the risk of that all falling apart, and she knew she couldn't have that. But here she lay, on the hood of his car, spilling out her heart and thoughts to a boy she had known for 3 years. She was about to graduate this year, and he was a junior. They had met when he was a freshman and she was a sophomore, in a strange meet-up. They both had just happened to have the same art class and had just so happened to be sat by each other. How, was the question. She was a Ballato, he was a Way. The seating was supposed to be alphabetical by last name, usually. Yet, the teacher had them shuffled, in a way "to break from the ordinary" and "to meet new people". And, out of some random bit of chance, she ended up sitting by the Way boy, a pale figure, young and isolated, quiet and shy by default. He had changed so much yet so little since then. He had grown into the young man he was now, opening up to her and letting her into his own world of endless doodles, scatted notes and songs, and an organized chaos that she found comfort in. She showed him her world, a step at a time. The both of them had changed so much since then, but still had the same charm and style. To some people, the dynamic duo would be unrecognizable. The small and chubby boy had grown out to a thin and handsome young man, raven hair framing his face, a figure who looked mysterious, yet charming. She had gone from the awkward girl with the dorky grin to a rebellious and free-spirited young woman who had everyone wrapped around her finger, like a succubus with a heart. And, here, the best friends lay, under the shine of stars scattered across the sky, laying on the car roof after a long night of fun. Who knew that Gerard had it in him to do the crazy stunts that they did tonight? Sneaking into a bar? Singing on stage? Spray painting a back-alley? That boy had guts, and an amazing voice to boot. Lindsey couldn't help but smile at him laughing and cheering about how this was the "best night ever" and how he couldn't wait to do it again. He had never done something this rebellious and broken this many rules, and it was obvious. He felt alive and he couldn't help feeling excited about it. This is what it felt like to be free, and he could get used to it.

The euphoria had lowered to a small buzz though, in their minds and their hearts, as they lay on the warm car hood. Gerard sat quietly, lending an ear and nodding and gesturing when appropriate, as Lindsey spilled out her thoughts and let lose all of the emotions that had been plaguing her mind.

"I just want to get out of here, y'know? New York would be amazing. I just want to get away from here and be myself, be independent, make it as, well, something. I don't want to be just another nobody living in a small town. I want to be free. I want to do what I want. I don't want to be bound by some stupid set of rules. I'm tired of living under my mom's roof and her rules, and I'm tired of being bound to a stupid small town like this. I need to get out of here before I go crazy. But I can't. I don't have a car, my mom won't let me borrow her's, and I can't walk to New York. That would be insane. I'm not that crazy, I haven't lost it that much. And I can't do it alone. Someone like me? They would be all over me. They already are here. Just imagine if I went somewhere like NYC. It would be insane. And I can't try to make it on my own alone. I need someone to support me, back me up, help me gain my independence and become whatever I'm supposed to be. I'm tired of living in a small room in the back of the house. I want to live, Gerard. I want to live."

Gerard nodded, starting to speak up. His words were slow and thoughtful, carefully choosing each one as he went as if he was creating an art piece.

"I understand how you feel, Lindsey. I've lived here pretty much all my life. I want to get out of here too. And making it in New York City would be amazing. Sure, they're big dreams, yeah, but just imagine it. Living there. Having a life out there. It would be amazing. I bet you could make it. If anyone I know could make it out there, it would be you. You've got that talent, the skills, and the personality for it. You can do anything you want, honestly."
"Ha. Far from it," Lindsey replied, snorting, "Look at me. I'm just a teenager with big dreams. Not like the world hasn't seen the likes of me before."
"Don't look down on yourself. You can do anything."