My Monster Mate (Book I)

Thirty: The Regret

The Regret
Nathaniel.

One year later

Looking at the date on my phone I realise that it has been a year and two months since she's been shot since she was put in that coma.

I hadn't seen her in that year, not even once, I just can't do it. If I hadn't called her she would've been home. She would've been safe. She wouldn't be in this damn coma. She'd be awake and happy and maybe shouting at Alex or maybe they'd actually be together by now. Mated and happy.

Why the fuck did I call her? He didn't even want her there, he could've handled it all on his own. I didn't have to involve her, dammit, why did I involve her?

"Nate." I hear my Beta call.

"What?" I snap.

"Woah," He raises his hands, "You need to chill out, bruh." Timothy says.

"Chill out? You do realise my brothers' mate has been in a coma for a year and a half because of me."

"It was not because of you! It was because of him! If he had controlled himself you wouldn't have needed to call her. You were doing what you thought was right."

Timothy has been my friend ever since I left No Man's Land. I left as soon as I turned eighteen. I had explained to my mother that I wasn't interested in going after my father, brothers and Axel. She was upset at first, raging really, but eventually, she understood that they are my family at the of the day. I didn't want them dead, I could never want them dead.

Starting this Pack was a little hard. I had nothing to start with so I had to do what my mother had kept me from doing all those years, I got in touch with my father and brothers. I had expected my father to be upset and to tell me never to contact him again but instead, he welcomed me with open arms.

It turns out my mother was keeping me from him all the while hating him, he knew of my existence but because of her magic, could never locate me. Until I came knocking on his door, he offered to fix me up a room but I declined I just wanted to know them personally.

Leaving there meant the sole purpose of the Creatures' existence was diminished all because I wanted to know my brothers beyond just linking up with them to play or do magic for them to gawk at. Or snap necks in Axel's case.

I met Timothy shortly after that, he had left his previous Pack feeling the Alpha was exploiting the youth for his own gain. So when we met he was on his own and so was I, aside from the money my father had given me.

We took that money and started my Pack for wolves who were just like him and I, homeless and willing to help others do better and be better. Wolves from all walks of life have joined us now and we have become family now. And that's exactly how I felt about Timothy, he was family like a brother, with a really shitty nickname.

Every time anyone would call him 'Tim' we would both cringe. So, we all kept it strictly at Timothy.

"Too bad it actually wasn't the right thing."

"Are you going to keep doing this? It's been a year now, Nate maybe you should –"

It's been a year now, why doesn't he let it go? 

"I will not let it go!" I walked away.

Okay, maybe he's more like an annoying younger brother.

I took the stairs two at a time with no clear direction or idea where I was headed I grabbed a key from my rack, opening the garage door I pressed the unlock button on the car key. 

Once I heard which car went off, I walked towards it realising it was my BMW i8. As I walked I glanced at my other cars my eyes lingered on the Mercedes-Benz GT3 AMG for a moment too long bringing forth the memory of the day I was in it with Eli and I had heard her thoughts, contrary to what she believes I hear her thoughts more than I 'listen' to them. Thoughts are loud and easy to hear with my abilities, I don't have to focus on the thoughts to hear them. I just do.

I do, however, need to focus on not hearing them or else I'll land up hearing everyone's thoughts at once which causes blistering headaches.

"He has many cars. I never fully understood why Alpha's have so much money - I'm assuming he's the Alpha of this Pack. He exudes power." Was her thought. 

As a pup I wondered the same thing, now as an Alpha, I understand of course. She's so innocent and young it makes me even more intrigued by her.

I was a measly seven years older than she but I felt like I was an entire thirteen she was so cute. She liked acting like a tough ball because her parents are Warriors. What I've picked though is that if she were brought up by anyone else, I'm certain she wouldn't have been a Warrior because she doesn't strike me as one at all.

By the time my thoughts had come to an end, raising my head I realised I was parked outside Elijah's parents' house. Alex would lose his mind if he found out how easy it was for me to reach her. Her Alpha had doubled up her guards because he had brought Eli up and couldn't believe she was in a coma. But, I just got through – with a freaking car, – and nothing. I wasn't even stopped.

The one time I had finally mustered enough courage to see her she had only been in this coma for almost three months. I couldn't bring myself to come ever again, until now. I reached her front door and idiotically knocked on the door, only once I had done so I realise how stupid that was. Luckily her best friend opened the door.

"Look who's still alive." He mocks.

"I came to –"

He doesn't let me complete the sentence, understandably, it is a stupid thing to say. There is no other reason I could possibly be here.

"I know what you're doing here I'm just surprised to see you after, what? A year."

"Can I just see her or not Nicholas?"

I wasn't even sure if I wanted to do this so the more time he wasted the more I wanted to get back into my car and drive away. The guilt that was gnawing at my chest was tenfold standing here so close to her.

"Sure." He moves aside.

I walk the distance to her room in silence, opening her bedroom door I see her laying there with all those wires and machines. Her normally shimmering caramel skin a dull light brown. Her normally straight brown hair now thick dark brown curls, framing her sunken yet still beautiful face.

"Oh, I miss you, Ellie." I walked closer.

I sat on her bed and held her hand. It was still warm but not as hot as a werewolf's should be.

"We need you to come back to us. Please."