Emotions (g.d)

30

Weeks later:
Daniel and Stella started dating. Me and Grayson have been hanging out a lot but just as friends. Nothing "sexual" happened. I don't really know why. I've been very horny lately though. I actually miss his touch but that's not what matters.

I've got to know Grayson better than ever. I mean, I already knew him very well but I got to see sides of him I have never seen before. I still haven't found out why he cried last time.
He makes me so happy. Every time he has a smile on his face I get this feeling of satisfaction that makes me very happy.

My feelings got obviously stronger. He has caught me staring at him so many times that I think he might suspect I like him more than just a friend. But he didn't do anything about it so I suppose he doesn't see me more than just a friend. I now accept the fact that we won't ever be more than what we are now and I guess I'm fine with that now.

_________________________________________

I was hanging out at home, laying in bed and listening to some music when Stella texted me and said I needed to come over. I went over her house and she said she needed to tell me something important.

"What is it?", I asked.

"So Daniel left a few minutes ago and he left his phone here. He went to pick up Gray and I was gonna call you anyways to come over so it would be the four of us. He fully trust me and I fully trust him so don't think that I found this on his phone on purpose."

"STELLA JUST SPILL IT OUT! You're making me nervous!"

"So I was going through his photos because he has so many with me and___"

"STELLA I SWEAR TO GOD..."

"Okay okay chill. So as I said I was going through his photos when he got a text from Grayson. He probably wasn't at his house yet that's why Gray texted him. I didn't mean to open it but I couldn't help it so I had to open it. And when I opened it, I was shocked. I was right about everything."

"What is everything?", I asked nervously.

At this point, I was freaking out because I had no idea of what she was talking about.

She showed me Daniel's screen and the messages he had exchanged with Grayson. She showed me the whole conversation.

"I know I shouldn't do this to Daniel, but___"

"Shut up and let me read"

Daniel: So have you told her about it?

Grayson: No dude, I can't. I'm scared that she won't want to be my girl. She's already my girl but you know what I mean. Does she even know how much I love her? How many times I've dreamt about her in my arms, kissing her, holding her? I know we sleep together and that I hold her in my arms and that I've kissed her before but not in the way I want to. I constantly feel like I'm not good enough. And until I am, I'm gonna hope she doesn't start seeing what I see in myself. I know she deserves a lot better than me, but I still want her to be mine. She's just everything I ever looked for in a girl. She even knows me better than I know myself.

Daniel: Are you sure this is not just because you guys did those kinky stuff? You know, she's a really nice girl and I don't want you to hurt her or anything.

Grayson: Yeah man I'm sure. She's my best friend. I would never intentionally hurt her. I am so in love with her. Oh God, I love her so much. And everytime she tells me she loves me I know that she doesn't mean it the same way I do, you know? And that shit hurts. I feel like I'm not myself anymore. I've changed so much because of her, in a positive way of course. I was never in love with someone. I never knew what love was. And now I'm sure I know. I'm just to scared to tell her.

Daniel: I never heard you talk about a girl like that before... She's definitely making you show your sensitive side.

Grayson: I've come to the point of my life where, I truly believe and know that she is someone who completely turned my world upside down. I tell her things that I've never shared with anyone and she listens to everything I tell her. Actually, she wants to hear more. I share hopes for the future, dreams that will never come true, goals that were never achieved and the many disappointments life has thrown at me. When something good happens, I can't never wait to tell her about it, knowing she will share in my excitement. When I'm hurting, she's always there to support me. Last night, I cried again because of the fact that I know that we will never be together. When she laughs with me because I make a fool of myself, makes me think about how lucky I am to have her. Never does she hurt my feelings or make me feel like I'm not good enough, but rather builts me up and shows me the things about myself that makes me special. And I will never be as thankful as I am for that. There is never any stress or sadness when I'm with her but only a quiet calmness and happiness when she's around. I can be myself and not worry about what she will think of me because she knows I'm a goof ball and she loves me for who I am. The things that seem insignificant to most people become invaluable treasures kept safe in her heart to cherish forever. Laughter seems part of daily life since I've met her. A phone call or two during the day or night helps me to get through a long day and always brings a smile to my face. In her presence, there's no need for continuous conversation, but I find it quite enough in just having her nearby. Things that never interested me before became fascinating because I know it's important to her. I think of her on every occasion and in everything I do. It's incredible how she's always on my mind. Day and night. Simple things bring her to mind like when I'm in my room listening to music and her favorite song comes on or when I'm thinking about something in bed and her photo on my bedside table shines through. I open my heart to her knowing that she will understand me no matter what. I experience love and joy with her that I never dreamed possible. My love for her is so real that it scares me.I find strength in knowing I have her who will remain loyal to the end. Life seems completely different, exciting and worthwhile. And this is what she does to me. I find myself texting you, late at night, like I was some kind of poet or something. Daniel, I just really hope no one ever breaks her heart. She's just perfect to me and I wish the person she chooses knows that and takes care of her.

Grayson: Okay, let's pretend that I never wrote that. That sounds super cheesy and shit but that's the way I feel about her. You know I'm usually that guy that never shows his feelings but I can't control myself when I talk about her...

Quite an emotional chapter this time...