I wanted to cry. To scream. Or to do both of this options. But I couldn't. It would be really selfish to that. Why? Because I'm not the one who is dying.
This situation is killing me. To see Alex getting worse and worse every day. And you know what's the worst part of it? We don't know when she is going to die. The doctor said that she might die either tomorrow or in one month or even in ten years. It's fucking awful.
And again I'm being selfish. I'm talking about how awful this situation is and I'm not even the victim of cancer. Alex is. And right now she needs all of our support, not all us mopping around.
One week after we had been to hospital, it was obvious that Alex was getting worse. She was more pale and you couldn't see life on her eyes. She was more much often in pain and when she coughed, it was always really bad. She became even more depressed and like Hazel said Depression is a side effect of dying.
She never lost her humor, however. She always smiled when someone of us said a joke or did something stupid. She always smiled when we spend time together and watched films wrapped around blankets. She always smiled when we brought her on the stage to see our fans or to play with Sam bass. But like I said she was getting worse, so she wasn't able to go on stage anymore. She wasn't able to run with us. She wasn't able to scream on the top of her lungs with Dennis. She wasn't able to do lots of this that she loved. Again, that was another side effect of dying.
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Our Dying Girl (Asking Alexandria)
FanficThis is a message to anyone, who wants to read this book. This isn't an other 'The Fault In Our Stars' edition. This is the story of our best friend, who lost her life, because of cancer. This is the story of fighting and drama. If you fell uncomfor...
