Hero - SnK {AoT} x Magical! Reader

Despair

Chapter 10

Despair

Reader's POV

"You recruits are fine soldiers who've managed to graduate!" he affirmed as trainees rushed by, trying to comprehend the madness. "We anticipate your contribution to this operation!"

Death, he means. I know enough about titans that most of this trainee squad will die. They will die.

As I passed by Franz and Hannah, I see the tall male promising that he would protect her no matter what.

It was so upsetting. Because after this day, most of us wouldn't be alive. Why should we be making promises, then? Why should we swear something?

But then again, why would we even be here if we weren't to offer our lives for humanity's success?

The grim situation caught up to me again, making me suddenly stop in my tracks. The boulder—the one that was going to be used to seal the hole if necessary—wasn't even dug up yet. And we wouldn't be able to dig that up, with the titans coming in through the same hole we intend to block.

This town would be completely abandoned.

I shook myself out of it. The depressing mood was affecting me. Not mentioning that my range of mindreading had apparently gotten broader, to the point that I was able to hear the vanguard fighting. And dying.

"Under the command of the Garrison, you'll carry out supply support, intelligence communication. Titan clean-up, and so forth!" he yelled the instructions, even though there was a heavy silence. He went onto explaining our positions. "... Steel your will and offer your lives! Dismissed!"

Every single trainee saluted. Only if they knew the cowardly thoughts in his head, telling him to escape, escape.

Some people were throwing up on the floor. I looked at them, half-pitying them and half-mad at them.

Then the voices became louder than ever. Louder than the day I found the new way to cover my unusual heteromatic eyes.

I fell to the ground, covering my ears. No effect of course, as the voices were in my head. Screams of agony. Screams and screams and more screams. Nobody would know how much a human mind is capable of doing if it really puts its mind to it—or if one is in a truly dire situation. Jean looked back at me, his expression a worried one.

No, I couldn't let this... weakness get the better of me. Ever.

Forcing myself to stand up, I nodded, hopefully reassuringly, at the sandy blond male, and he nodded back, returning his attention to the front. And we ran.

We were on a roof of a random house, our faces looking bleak yet determined. "31st squad, advance! You'll be supporting the vanguard!" the seniors cued us, and we took off.

"We got this, guys," Erin, a trainee ranking 19, said optimistically. She had always been that type.

"Whatever, let's go," Eric, her twin brother said, running off. "What are you doing?" he yelled back at his hesitant sister. And that was his grave mistake.

"On your left!" I yelled out for him, but he was slow in reacting. An aberrant had jumped out, catching the poor male in its large mouth. Along with his screams, the screaming in my head intensified. Not just his, but another's too—not of hopelessness, but more of unspeakable loss.

And I realize it's coming from Armin.

The cry of anguish intensifies all of a sudden, and I try so hard, so hard, to keep that voice out of my head. But it doesn't matter what I do. It's always there. And even though I didn't necessarily want that, I realized, it wasn't something I could avoid.