Tronnor oneshots.

Free.

(TRIGGER WARNING)

Troye's POV ~

"Why do I always feel this worthless? It's like I don't have control over my own body!

Why can't I be normal? People say that I'm loved but I feel so numb it's impossible to feel. You're the only one that can make me feel alive. Like I'm worth living for. You are like the medicine that cures the numbness in my body. You make me feel like I'm living, not just surviving.

Why would you would want to be with a worthless person like me? I'm so useless and I'm not changing the world in any way. What I do doesn't seem to make people feel free. My music doesn't even feel like it helps anymore.

I thought that music was the medicine that cured my numbness. But it got pushed farther and farther and farther until it fell off into a world so far from here. I try so desperately to reach towards it but I just couldn't, no matter how hard I tried.

I try not to push you away Connor, because I need and love you so bad it hurts. But I'm just so scared that I'll push you so far away that you'll enter that other world that I try so desperately to be apart of.

Why do I always feel like this? My problems are so irrelevant compared to that girls that I saw walking down the street with tears streaming down her precious face. Or that boy who was trying so vividly not to cry while I was singing Heaven. The pain in his eyes is still engraved in my brain to this day.

I don't deserve to be drowning in self-pity because of the other part of me that doesn't appreciate what Love and appreciation is.

I know it's hard Connor, for you to be with me this long, I don't want you to leave but I don't ever want such a beautiful person like you to feel like you're being held back. I'm holding you back from amazing things, which I never would want to do. I want you to be free Connor. Which is what I'm doing.

I love you so much Connor, and I want you to know that this is none of your fault. I am just not happy anymore. I want to finally be in that other world that k tried so hard to get to. I'll be happy. I will always be by your side, through thick and thin. You may not see me with your eyes but see me with your heart. You will always be the love of my life. I'm so sorry my love. Don't worry about me but please don't forget about me either.

Love, Troye"

*a year later*

"I will never forget about you my love," Connor sobs into the cold, damp dirt as he lays on top of Troye's grave with the suicide letter Folded in his hand.

"You are the love of my life, the person Id give up everything for. We will meet again. Not just yet though. When the time comes, we can both be with each other until the end of time."

"I love you" Connor says as he wipes a tear from his cheek and places a single blue flower on his grave and leaves.