Our Misadventures

House Of Memories

(Sorry for the long await of this chapter, My life is weird ATM. Dont worry, this chapter is done and will have a lot more to follow. Bear with me here. Updates will happen :) )

Johnnie's P.O.V.

I didn't know how this happened or what crazy thoughts had lead Kyle to this decision. He was here, with me. I turned on my side to face Kyle's bed, he wasn't there. I was shocked that he left so early, it was always like him though. I looked at my clock and it wasn't early at all "1:02... perfect." I laughed 

"Someone's awake." Kyle said as he opened the door and stepped into the room. He walked over and sat on my bed, I curled up my knees and hugged a pillow. "Johnnie? Is everything ok?" Kyle questioned. I couldn't speak, I have no words to say. "Ive been thinking.... In this exact same place is where the 'Incident' happened.. I'm questioning you being here now. Why did you even come back for me?" I managed to say, which wasn't really helping. Kyle moved closer to me, I started shaking with fear thinking that he would hurt me again. "I... I came back because I know I cant take back what I did to you in the past, and that is my own fault. Something that we have is so irreplaceable for me that it breaks my heart to see it fall.I understand if you have feelings the other way, its totally understandable." Kyle finished. 

I keep quiet. I don't know how normal people would deal with this if your current boyfriend/ex was promising not to hurt you. How could you trust them, and why? 

Kyle didn't expect an answer, I couldn't give him one anyway. My mind is so twisted on what has happened to me the past few months. I looked at Kyle and my head started spinning, I saw stars around the room and I blacked out. I heard someone call me name.

Could this be the escape I have been looking for?

Kellin's P.O.V.

Vic has been here for two weeks, trying everything he can to get in more trouble in order to stay here with me. I didn't want that. Yeah I wanted to be with him but not at a place like this where haunted memories remain. I couldn't tell him to leave either, every time I insisted he refused. I'm not sure if this is what I want right now exactly. 

My mental state was a mess, Ive tried everything to stay out of the intensive units. But its in my nature to always end up there at least 3 times a week, I would have to wake up to hospital wires, heart monitors, and a very sleepy and concerned Vic. He worried way too much about me and that made me feel more guilty. Why would he ever care about me that much? I'm not that special, the voices in my head and the rest of society carved that into my brain. I don't understand Vic at all, what does he want from me? 

I looked at him and started to feel the tears run down my face, its not like I didn't care about showing my emotions. I was telling Vic where my heart truly lied and it was with him if only he knew that much. Vic looked at me like I had just broken his heart. "Kellin, there is something you're not telling me" Vic said, his face pale like he had just seen a ghost.

"There actually is something I'm not telling you, the reason is I've been putting it off for the longest time." I replied. He looked at me intently and awaited my explanation. "I've been thinking about us, and how it was before all of this happened. And I'm starting to regret these decisions. Such as me coming here and leaving you for the better, and than out of no where you decided to bunk with me? I mean I appreciate it and everything but don't you think it would have been better to break things off with me and never be involved with any of this again? This all happened because I had to be away from you. But after all this time you insisted that you still wanted me. I don't know what you still see in me. All I see in myself is someone who is not even worthy to talk to you, you may think I'm wonderful and all but I just don't see it anymore. I admit I have no light, you were and are my light and I know I need you to survive and live the way I do. Vic I just don't know how I can handle this anymore." I said, freely letting tears fall from my face. I looked at Vic and his face dropped, I knew what I was in for.

"I-I.... Kellin you know that we are never going to end, I don't know what would make you think that. You know your heart belongs to me and my heart belongs to you. If you don't believe that, then I will try everything to make you feel loved and special more than before. That's a promise I can tell you that. You will always be so god damn special to me, and you will never feel anything besides my love for you because thats all I'll ever know."  Vic finished. I looked at him knowing he was about to leave me. 

"It was always you, falling for me... I live such a lonely life I could make myself believe that Im fine. But  in reality Im not. Im sorry you deserve better. So you can just leave me if you want..." I replied, looking away from Vic.  He looked down and sighed before getting up and exiting the room. 

Vic stopped at the door and looked back at me "You know it will always just be me." He said tears filling his eyes and closing the door.

Once Vic left, I crawled onto his bed and started sobbing. This is what I deserve.