Funny Harry Potter Texts

Fame and Fandoms

Group chat: ronron, theboiwholived, bookwormz, 

Harry: YOU GUYS

Hermione:...

Ron: what.

Harry: APPARENTLY, I'm famous!

Ron: Dude, you already are famous! You know, boy who lived? That's literally your username!

Harry: No! In the muggle world! Apparently, some author named J. K. Rowling wrote a bunch of books about me! And the muggle world is crazy about it!

Ron: Hermione, did you know anything about this?

Hermione: ...

Ron: HERMOINE?!?

Hermione: I may... Have read... A couple fanfictions... JUST FOR A COUPLE LAUGHS OF COURSE!

Harry: Well that's alright! I guess it just matters who you ship!

Ron: Ship? What do the muggles ship these days? Potatoes? 

Hermione: Ron you idiot.

Ron: What? 

Harry: Ron... Mate. What we mean by ship is who we believe make a great would make a great couple!

Ron: Oh, well then! I think I ship Luna and Neville!

Hermione: Well isn't that cute.

Harry: Wow, Hermione, I never seen you so passionate before, I can hear that sarcasm from here! And I'm on the quidditch pitch.

Ron: Yeah Hermione! Who do you ship?

Hermione: I think its best if we leave that to the imagination...

Harry: Hold on.

Hermione: Wait Harry, where are you going?!

Ron: Yeah Harry! Where are you going?

Harry: I'll explain later.

Harry shut his phone, and mounted his broom stick, he knew for a fact that Hermione would be in the library. He zoomed out of the quidditch pitch and towards the windows of the library, where he saw Hermione glaring at her phone.

He tapped his finger against the glass, she looked up and her eyes widened, even though he couldn't hear her, he could see her lips say his name in a menacing way. He put his hand up, as if to silence her, and pulled out his phone. He put on a three way call between Hermione and Ron.

"Hey Harry! What's up?" He could hear Ron's raspy voice, he obviously was in bed in the dorm all day, scrolling through the new I-phone his father got from the ministry.

"Harry what is the meaning of this?!" Hermione seethed, her eyes glaring into his.

"Huh? What's going on?" Ron said, clearing his voice, intrigued.

"I'm on my broom right outside of the library windows."

"Now why the bloody hell would you do that? " Ron said, startled.

"Yeah Harry, I'd like to know as well, Harry! People are beginning to look!" Hermione quietly said, infuriated.

Harry's deadly serious stone eyes locked with Hermione's shocked ones.

"One of things that you guys do not know about me, is that I take my ships very seriously." Harry stated, eerily calm. "So if one of my best friends don't ship the same ship I ship, we're going to have a problem." He said gravely.

Harry breathed in deeply, he could hear Ron suck in his breath, and Hermione sigh in drowsiness.

"So, Hermione." He said, the wind in the air started blowing, causing his hair to go in all directions. "Who do you ship?"

"Wait, this is not fair!" Hermione complained, stomping her foot on the ground childishly. "How about Ron?" 

"Ron is pure, he doesn't know an inch about this fandom like we both do." Harry answered calmly, not hesitating an inch.

"Hey!" Ron said, protesting. 

"Oh come on Ron, we both know its true." Harry bit back.

"True..." Ron responded, sulkily.

"Hermione," Harry said in a commanding tone. "Who do you ship?"

There was a moment of silence, Hermione narrowed her eyes at Harry, she lifted her phone, and ended the call.  She then quickly gathered her things and bolted out of the library.

"Hey, what was that about?" Ron said, surprised at what was unfolding in front of him.

"Hey... Ron? Yeah, I'll have to get back to you on that." Harry said quickly, and hung up. He crashed through the window of the library, causing everyone to yelp in shock. Harry landed swiftly and quickly got out his wand, muttering a quick repairo spell having all of the pieces of the window piece itself back together, Harry then quickly dashed after her. 

He then pulled out his marauders map, looking for Hermione's foot prints. She was bolting down an empty hall, she then slowed down and stopped near a wall, and in a blink of an eye, her footsteps vanished.

Harry knew exactly where she was. 

His footsteps increased, he then stopped by the wall where Hermione vanished. He closed his eyes, thinking and praying deeply.

Come on. He said to himself. For Tumblr!

The door suddenly appeared, Harry burst through them, revealing Hermione perched on a chair, with her phone in her hands.

"You're surrounded, " Harry spoke, "just answer me, who do you ship?" 

Hermione remained silent, her face emotionless.

"Hinny."

Hermione didn't move an inch.

"Drarry."

"Snarry." 

Hermione made a sound of disgust.

Thank God! Harry thought to himself, silently cheering.

"Romione."

"Bellamort."

"Fremione."

"Harmony"

"Dramione."

Hermione turned beet red.

"Y-You're kidding me right." Harry said, astonished. "Dramoine?! You and Draco Malfoy?!?"

"It's the story lines! They're both so good! And you must admit, we both look pretty good together!"

"I-I can't believe this." Harry said, amazed. "You really are my best friend!" 

Hermione lit up, a grin crawling up onto her face.

"Aw Harry! You scared me so much!" She said, hugging him tightly, her face muffled into his shirt.

"Don't blame me! Blame the fandom!" Harry said, a cheshire cat grin slapped onto his face. They soon let go of each other, still smiling softly. He reached into his pocket and typed into his phone:

Status update: Guess who's my mega best friend!!! #hermoineisbomb!