The Winding Road

Chapter 9

The 'movie' starts with the sound of laughter. My laughter. An image appears on the screen and I see two children running around in a circle. These two children are James and I. We are laughing and smiling as we run around James' garden and hop through the sprinkler. I see my dad laughing and smiling while he sits on a chair with my mom on his lap. He's hugging her. She's smiling. A tear runs down my cheek as my mother turns around and kisses my dad on his forehead. James sees my tear and pauses the screen.

"I think we should watch something else." He says quietly.

I nod as I press my hands against my face and begin to cry. James puts his arms around me and pulled me towards him. I wrap my arms around him and cry on his shoulder. He rubs my back as I weep on his shoulder. I can feel his breathing as I rest my head against him.

"It's ok," he whispers, "everything will get better."

I smile at the thought of having a peaceful life again. A life without fear of home. Without a fear of dad. I lift my head off James' shoulder and look into his deep blue eyes.

"Thank you James." I say in a hushed voice.

"For what?"

"For everything. For always being there for me. It really means a lot. You're the one person I feel completely safe with. You make my worries disappear. So thank you. For helping me cope with, well, life really."

"It's only a pleasure Sam. I care about you too much to see you go through the pain alone. I want to be there for you whenever I can. It's really just because I love..."

He trails off and I feel a spark of electricity between us. He brushes the strand of hair out of my face. I feel his hand against my cheek and he looks into my eyes. His eyes trail down to my lips and before I know it he is leaning towards me. I freeze. I don't know what to do. As our lips are about to meet I tilt my head to the side and he kisses my cheek. I hug him awkwardly and wait for him to do something. He doesn't.

"I'm sorry James." I say closing my eyes and waiting for him to respond.

I pull myself away from him. He's blushing, badly.

"Do you want to watch another movie?" He asks, trying desperately not to sound embarrassed.

"I'm a bit tired." I say, not wanting to bring back the awkwardness.

"Ok we can go to bed." He says standing up. He hasn't made eye contact with me once and his voice is soft. "I'll go get the mattress from downstairs."

"Yeah," I say, not knowing how to respond, "can I help?"

"No it's fine. You can get into bed so long. I'll sleep on the mattress."

"Ok. Thanks." I say and he turns around and walks out.

I want to kick myself. I've always known that James likes me and now, when he's trying to express his feelings for me, I blow it. I don't understand why he likes me. I mean, I'm not some beautiful stunner of a girl, in fact I'm probably the ugliest girl he knows. James is quite popular at school. All the girls flirt with him but he's not one to fall for fluttering eyelashes and crop tops. To be honest, I'm glad he's not one of those. But why me? Why does he have to fall for the girl who has no interest in romance. He deserves someone that would make him happy. How could he be happy with a depressed little snob like me? He can't.