Save Me Styles

Chapter 26- It's so complicated

Payton's POV

"What Harry?" I asked in a low voice as I closed the door

"Look, I-I know I screwed up. Big time. But I just don't know what I will do without you. I don't know how to say this to your face because mainly I know I will screw up again. So if you truly do love me, please read this." he said tearing up and placing a small note in my hand.

I looked down at the small piece of neatly folded paper he placed in my hand. When I looked back up, he gave me a week, fake smile and walked away running his fingers through his hair. Once he left I was more than nervous to open this little piece of paper.

As I started to unfold it my fingers started to shake and fumble at the paper. But once I started to read it, my heart started racing. I took a deep breath preparing myself for the worst as I read the first sentence.

Payton,

Over the past few weeks I have endured the most pain I have ever experienced in my life. Ever since I laid eyes on you I knew you were mine. And not being able to even look at the person you love the most, is the worst kind of pain in the world.

I know I caused all of this. I was just so worked up that I just say random things that seem right. I don't think things through anymore. It's just I have came so close to losing you so many times that I get so worked up when I see you with someone else. And when I saw you laying there at the docks I knew what had happened. I knew you went with Caleb and that he had hurt you.

As soon as I knew something was wrong I went looking for you. And the thought of you being there gave me the best feeling in the world. But when I saw that you were hurt, it hurt me more than anything. I know that we have been through so much and that I brought you into this.

And that's why I am giving you an option. If you still love me please come to me at the docks. And if you don't have feelings for me any longer just wait at the edge of the forest, I will make sure you don't have to see me anymore. But just remember, I will always love you no matter what happens.

-Harry

At this point I slid down the wall crying and covering my face. I re-read the note over and over as I sat there. My heart broke at his every word. I guess I had just forgotten about how he fell for me and how much he cared for me. I knew that I still loved him with all my heart, but I really don't know what to do at this point. Did we even have a future together?

I thought about all that had happened between us. Well all that I could remember.  I feel like it is almost completely my fault. Why did I even go out with Caleb? I am glad that he wrote me the note though. It gave me a little more perspective. I just never even thought that I could be that special to someone.

Now that I have read the note, I want to go to him even more than ever. I just don't know if I should. During these whole couple of weeks, I have felt exactly how he has felt. It hurt not seeing him, hearing him laugh, not having him next to me, and not getting to see him smile. Those things truly kill me. 

This boy has made me laugh, cry, get mad, but mostly he has made me fall in love. And I wouldn't change one thing about him. Every thing about him, from his smile to his dorky laugh. I loved him with all my heart but right now it is slowly breaking as I though about my decision.

If I don't stay with him, where will I go? I can't go back home! I can't go back to America either because how am I supposed to talk to people if I don't remember them! It gets so frustrating sometimes. And when I try to remember it hurts so much.

I have tried everything to remember. The doctor still tries to help even if I am one in a million. Every time I come home from trying to remember I have a killer migraine. And the thing is, when I come home I am always alone. Which absolutely kills me inside.