This Isn't Me

I Like You Too...

"Ashley wait up!" Spencer yelled, running to catch up to her. 

"I can't talk to you right now Spencer." Ashley yelled back over her shoulder, picking up her pace.

"Ashley wait!" Spencer demanded, grabbing a hold of Ashley's arm so she couldn't walk away.

"I can't talk to you right now!" Ashley insisted. 

"Well when can you? You've been avoiding me for two weeks now, so please tell me when would be a good time?" Spencer said with a bit a desperation in her voice. She was sorry for what happened between them and she only wanted to express that to Ashley. 

"Spencer, I really cant do this right now!" Ashley said again.

"Ashley just talk to me please!" Spencer begged.

"What do you want from me Spencer?" Ashley asked.

"Nothing." Spencer told her, shaking her head. "Ashley, I just want to know that we're okay, that we're still friends." She tried to explain.

"I cant Spencer, I'm sorry!" Ashley shook her head. "I can't be your friend." She repeated.

"What, why not?" Spencer asked grabbing her arm. "I'm sorry about what happened Ashley. I swear that I can put my feelings aside. I just want you in my life. Even if it means that we're only friends."

"It's not that." Ashley said softly.

"I don't under--"

"I like you okay, Spencer!" Ashley said cutting her off. "But this isn't me! I can't be this way." She shook her head. "I'm not gay, I cant be! I don't know what you did to me but you made me feel something that I just can't and shouldn't be feeling... I have to go I'm sorry!." Ashley said then started to run away. Spencer wasn't gonna let her get away that easily though.

"Ashley wait!" Spencer said, running after her again.

"Spencer, please." Ashley begged.  "Just leave me alone."

"No, I wont!" Spencer said firmly. "Look." Spencer grabbed Ashley's hand. "I like you a lot. I don't know why because before you I never looked at girls in that way, but with you, I cant help it!" She shrugs and smiles a bit, moving closer to Ashley.

"Spencer don't!" Ashley said, looking around to see if anyone was watching.

"No Ashley,." Spencer said firmly. "I wont let you run away from this anymore." She shook her head. Ashley's gaze fell down to the ground. Spencer lifted her head up so they were now face to face. "It's okay" Spencer told her right before she leaned in and kissed Ashley. Immediately Ashley pulled away, she didn't want to but, she did.

"I told you Spencer this isn't me." Ashley said backing away, before turning around and running away. This time Spencer didn't cahse after her. She just stood there. She was so hurt by the fact that Ashley did have feelings for her but was too afraid of what people might think to act on them.

For the next couple days it was weird for Spencer to go to first period and sit next to Ashley, and Ashley not talk to her but that's how it was. Later that day Spencer was invited to a party that Aiden was throwing and to get her mind off Ashley she decided to go. I mean it was Friday night and she had nothing to do so she went...

When Spencer got to the party it was a bunch of people she didn't know there so she decided she would just leave. Just as she was turning to leave Aiden called her name.

"Oh hey Aiden." Spencer said turning around to face him.

"So glad you could make it!" He smiled and hugged her.

"Yeah, actually I was just..." Spencer started but was cut off.

"Come on and I'll introduce you to some people." He said pulling her towards the crowd.

" Aiden that's really not necessary." Spencer said, trying to break free of his hold.

"Come on Spencer, loosen up, its a party!" Aiden said the last part loudly, getting a cheer from the crowd.

Spencer smiled at him and decided he was right. She needed to loosen up and take her mind off Ashley, so that's what she decided to do. She'd forgot all about what had happened between her and Ashley earlier that week and had a good time. At least she was having a good time until...

"Spencer. What are you doing here?"

"No, the question is what are you doing here Glen." Spencer said, highly annoyed that Glen seems to keep showing p everywhere.

"Uh, Party Girls. DUH!" Glen said as if it was common knowledge. "Need I say anymore?" He asked with a sly grin on his far.

"You are so gross." Spencer shook her head at her brother in disgust.

"Whatever! Later." Glen said and walked away.

Spencer decided she would go get some fresh air so she went outside. She sat down on the porch. Just then she saw someone pull up in a car that looked exactly like Ashley's. The person got out of the car and it was Ashley. Spencer stood up when she saw it was her. Ashley walked over to Spencer.

"Spencer, I need to talk to you." Ashley said once she reached Spencer. "Can we go somewhere?"

"Why Ashley?" Spencer said harsly. "Why should I go anywhere with you?" Spencer didn't want to be mean to Ashley but after the way Ashley had been treating her these past couple of weeks she figured why be nice?

"Look Spencer, I know I've been a total and complete jerk lately but... can we just go some where and talk please!" Ashley begged.

"Fine." Spener gave in.  Ashley grabbed Spencer's hand and led her to her car. They both got in and Ashley drove off.

"Where are we going?" Spencer asked. Ashley didn't answer she just loked at Spencer and smiled. A few minutes later they arrived at the beach.

"You brought me all the way to the beach to tell me something you could have told me back at Aiden's house. This is a joke right?" Spencer asksed. Ashley once again didn't reply she only looked at Spencer and smiled. Ashley grabbed Spencer's hand and led her down the beach. As they kept walking Spencer thought she saw a light and they were getting closer and closer to it. Finally they came to a stop and what Spencer saw amazed her, it was more beautiful than anything she had ever seen in her life. Ashley had a romantic picnic dinner set up with candles and roses everywhere.

"Ashley what is this?" Spencer asked confused.

"Spencer come sit down with me." Ashley said with a smile and they sat down on the blanket. "Spencer I know I've been a real jerk lately and I know that I hurt you but I only acted that way because I didn't know how to deal with what I was feeling. I've never liked a girl before and the feelings that I have for you they scare me and I just didn't know what else to do, besides push them aside and push you away. But I realized something, I shouldn't care what other people think, who gives a damn! I like you a lot and my feelings won't just go away." Ashley smiled at Spencer.

"I'm saying that I want to be with you Spencer." Ashley finally said and as hard as she tried Spencer couldn't hold back the tears any longer. "What's wrong?" Ashley asked concerned, moving closer to Spencer

"Nothing." Spencer shook her head.  "I'm just, I'm so happy right now!" Spencer giggled through her tears.

"You have no idea." Ashley returned the smile. "So is that a yes to being my girlfriend?" 

"Ofcourse its a yes!" Spencer replied and Ashley couldn't help but kiss Spencer softly. The rest of the night went perfectly. They ate dinner and then they listened to the waves and they banged up against the shore. Ashley held Spencer until they both fell asleep. They awoke a an hour or so later and got all the stuff up then Ashley took Spencer home.

"So, I guess i'll see you tomorrow then." Ashley said smiling as she walked Spencer to the door.

"Yeah. Ofcourse." Spencer nodded. Ashley gave Spencer another kiss then got in her car and drove off. Spencer was so happy she didn't know what to do. She finally had the girl she wanted since the first day she got to LA. She opened the door to go inside, unaware of what awaited her when she got in...