This Isn't Me

I'm in love with Ashley

"Hey." Deb rolled over and smiled at Kyla.

"Hi." Kyla replied, smiling just as wide. "I should probably go." She said, sitting up.

"No." Deb pouted. "Do you have to?" 

"I do." Kyla nodded, leaning over and kissing her. "I'll call you later." She gave Deb another quick peck on the lips before getting dressed. Deb put on a robe to walk Kyla out. She gave her another quick kiss before Kyla got in Ashley's car to drive back home.

Deb decided to go and see if Spencer was back home. 

"I thought you'd still be at Ashley's." She stated as she walked in Spencers room and saw Spencer sitting on the bed.

"She turned me down." Spencer sighed and flopped back on her bed. "She said that what we are is socially unacceptable." She added as the tears started to build. "I love her Deb, why can't we just be together?" She asked as the tears that were threatening to fall finally did.

Deb moved closer to Spencer, pulling her into a hug. "Spencer, I'm sorry. I wish there was something I could do. I really didn't think Ashley would do this. But guess what, it's her loss. You are a beautiful, intelligent, amazing person, believe me, you'll find someone else." Deb assured her friend. 

"But I don't want anyone else." Spencer said through sobs. 

"You will in time." Deb nodded, rubbing Spencer's back. "Just get some sleep Spence, everything's gonna be okay, I promise." 

"I hope." Spencer wiped her face and sat up. "Oh and by the way, you and Kyla need to be more careful." She added as Deb got up to exit the room.

"Huh?" Deb questioned wrapping her robe tighter around her body.

Spencer gave her friend a small smile. "My mom called you down for dinner and you didn't come, so she was on her way up stairs to come and check on you when I told her I would do it." Spencer stated and Deb nodded, understanding what Spencer was saying.  "Just be careful because there's no telling what she might do if she found out that we were both gay. Anyways goodnight."

"Okay, I will. Goodnight." Deb left the room and went to hers. She stayed up most the night thinking about what happened between her and Kyla. She had always thought that her first time with a girl would be with Spencer. But she was glad that it was Kyla. She loved her and Kyla was amazing. She helped her move past Spencer.

The next morning they got up and got ready for school. Of course Glen didn't give them a ride, so Paula had to. When they got to school they went to first period and of course Deb and Kyla sat together in the back of the class, talking and giggling the entire time. But Spencer and Ashley... They sat no where near each other. Spencer sat in her normal seat but Ashley sat in the front of the classroom where she was far away from Spencer and the rumours. This went on for weeks, Ashley didn't even speak to Spencer. Spencer was dying on the inside. Deb invited Kyla and Ashley over to the house hoping that Ashley would come so Spencer would cheer up, but of course she declined. She had a reputation to uphold. Kyla came over and her Spencer and Deb watched a movie.

"You guys, I think I'm just going to go up to my room, not feeling to good."

"Okay." Both Deb and Kyla nodded as Spencer got up and went upstairs.

"Aw! Poor Spencer. I feel so bad for her." Kyla said once Spencer was out of earshot. 

"Can't you just talk to your sister about it?" Deb asked, desperate to help her friend feel better. 

"I've tried." Kyla shrugs and shakes her head. "She won't listen." She added. 

"I just hate seeing her like this."