The Mighty Fall In Love

Chapter Thirteen

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

I don't know how long I spend crying on the bathroom floor.

I don't care, though. Time means nothing to me right now. The world's crumbled and broken beneath me; any possible stableness in my life gone in a matter of minutes.

Like a bad gamble, I lost it all.

I've lost it all.

At least that's what I think until I hear footsteps padding towards the bathroom from the bunkroom.

My heart races as I peel myself from the floor to stand, waiting with my hand on the doorknob to open it for Pete. To let him in with open arms. To show him he's made the right choice by choosing me.

Pete's finally came to apologize and to say he chooses me. We'll hug and any bad vibes will disappear along my heartbreak. Our tight embrace will be full of love, not lust, and I'll be sure of this this time. He'll kiss me to prove how sorry he is. He'll promise he'll make up for it. He'll vow that our relationship will work out, that we'll be fine.

But as I listen to the footsteps, they pass right by bathroom. No pausing, not even a trace of recognition that I'm in here. The paces continue steadily and pass the bathroom until they're out of earshot.

Pete really doesn't want me, I realize. He really chooses Meagan over me.

What ever last piece of solid ground that I had built up in those short moments has disintegrated. I have nothing to stand up on anymore. Nothing left

I lean on the door for support, wishing I could be anywhere but here. The tears are back and running faster than ever. I guess Pete really has chosen Meagan.

If he had chosen me, he'd be in here apologizing already. He wouldn't be ignoring me. He'd be trying to show how sorry he is and trying to mend our relationship.

Pete doesn't want me. And he never has.

My brain swirls around trying to find thoughts that make sense and my heart cries out for Pete to come back. For Pete to choose me. For Pete to choose us.

Over my sobs, I hear rising voices coming from the front of the bus, grabbing my attention.

"...if I have to stay on this thing for a second longer. I want a hotel room. I need a hotel room right now or I'm gonna be sick. I'm fucking sick of driving."

"We can't stop, Pete," the bus driver replies cautiously. "You have a show tomorrow night and it's not even one o'clock yet..."

"I said I'm going to be fucking sick if I have to fucking stay on this thing any longer!" Pete rages.

Just the sound of his voice makes my heart yearn for him more.

"Pete, we can't stop. There won't be enough time to make it to the show tomorrow if we stop now," the driver retorts. "Go fix whatever problem you have with your boyfriend and stop complaining."

I cringe at the sound of 'boyfriend.' I'm starting to think now we never were boyfriends. Just fuck buddies; friends with benefits. The tears blur my vision and I just don't know what to think anymore.

"You inconsiderate bastard! Shut the fuck up before I make you, you lowlife pussy!"

Pete's voice is filled with anger. I can tell his face his heating up and he probably has his hands in fists, ready to fight.

"Yeah, I like me some pussy. But the world doesn't revolve around you, princess."

"Fuck you!" Pete screams.

"Don't do anything stupid, Pete," Andy says, his voice levelled, trying to be the voice of reason. "And Bob, fuck off. Take the next exit and go to the nearest hotel."

"I am not taking orders from you guys! I know how to do my job, and my job is to get you to venue to venue, not babysit you and let you rest at hotels."

"There's no argument to be had here," Andy continues. "We pay you to do what we say, and we say stop the bus."

"Stop the fucking bus, Bob!" Joe adds.

"Yeah, Bob, stop the fucking bus!" Pete repeats, cockiness filling his voice now that he's got back up.

The yelling and screaming match continues, three to one. I try to block it out and figure out what's going on inside my head and inside my heart, but all this yelling and screaming is just making my brain hurt even more.

I can't think straight because of all the noise. I can't figure out what the hell is going on. My heartbreak quickly turns to anger and suddenly and I want to go out and punch Bob, too.

I swing open the door and step out, yelling, "Shut the fuck up! Just stop at a fucking hotel, okay? For god's sake!"

Four to one, now. Bob sighs loudly, annoyed, and shakes his head. He switches into the lane to take the next exit. And finally it's quiet.

Everyone except the driver looks back at me, staring. Andy and Joe hold Pete back away from Bob, presumably to stop Pete from taking a swing.

Pete now wears grey sweatpants and his purple hoodie, hair still askew from sleep, opposed to just the thin boxers he wore before.

Andy and Joe's faces are worried yet filled with compassion, probably because they feel sorry for me because of mine and Pete's fight. Pete's face, on the other hand, is full of smugness. I return his gaze with one of anger, ignoring the fact that Andy and Joe's arms are wrapped around Pete like mine were not so long ago, pulling him close to me.

Eyes locked on Pete, we stare at each other for a few moments, until his gaze falls down my chest and stomach, giving me the once over.

"Huh," he mumbles. "Didn't realize I could get you out of your panties that easily."

I look down and realize I forgot to put my boxers back on after I jerked off. I'm completely exposed and unclad, and realize why Andy and Joe wear faces of worry and confusion and Pete wears one of cockiness.

"Fuck you," I retort, bringing my eyes back to his before turning away.

I feel Pete's gaze still following me and my raw body as I turn and walk into the bunkroom. Before I shut the door, I twist back towards their three pairs of piercing eyes. Andy and Joe look shocked at the sight of my nude body, but Pete looks as if he's admiring the bare canvas he has explored many times before.

I stare down Pete and give him a look of disgust before letting my gaze drop down to his crotch, thinking two can play at this game.

"Didn't know you were so easily aroused," I spit, lips forming into a sly grin at the sight of the tent in his sweatpants. "Nice boner," I state before letting out a small feral chuckle and slamming the door to the bunkroom, locking them out.

I go to the wardrobe and pull on a pair of pajama pants quickly. After having put them on, I realize they're Pete's.

"Fuck!" I swear aloud, finally letting the waves of anguish and embarrassment hit me.

How could I forget to put my underwear back on? Stupid me. Fucking stupid me. I gave Pete the satisfaction of knowing that I jacked off after our fight. He's one upped me, without even trying. I let him gain points on me because of my stupidity. Dumb, dumb me.

I shake my head as the pain of the heartbreak over throws my embarrassment, and as much as I wish this fallout wouldn't have happened, it would've eventually. We never stood a chance.

And now the tears crash around me, sending me spiralling downhill for the umpteenth time today. I fall to the floor, loathing myself for believing Pete. Loathing myself for trusting Pete. Loathing myself for loving Pete.

Fuck Pete for saying he loved me.

But fuck me most of all for believing him.