It's time for episode 2 of "Rants" (again, so original) Today's topic will be...
Sucky Books on WattPad:
Orbs.
You all know what I'm talking about.
"I stared into his blue orbs"
"Orbs"
What does that even mean? I don't know about you, but when I hear "orbs" I think of marbles.
"I stared into the blue marbles inside his eye sockets. So beautiful"
Because logic.
Casts.
"I'm so ugly and fat how could anyone possibly love me?" Said Anna who was casted as Demi Lovato.
What.
What!
Are you kidding me? If you're gonna have an ugly character, don't give her a flawless model in the cast.
Relationships.
So I'm reading this book and the main dude is a player. He makes out with a lot of girls. He says that he doesn't like the main girl at all and talks trash about her. He treats her like garbage. Yet near the end of the book they're making out and stuff and the dude says "I would never hurt you" He then proceeds to cheat on her and treat her like garbage. And in the end they love each other.
I understand you want drama in your book, but at least have it make sense.
*cough* after *cough*
Kidnapping/adoption.
Famous dude in boy band or famous YouTuber adopts a teenage daughter because they have so much time to take care of them and because why not.
Logic.
Basically all fanfics.
Me: I wanna see if there's any good fanfictions that I could read! *clicks on fanfiction catagory* ITS ALL JUST HARRY STYLES AND LUKE HEMMINGS WHAT THE HECK.
Do I need to say more?
Shipping fanfics.
Chapter 1:
Rainbow Dash walked to Sweet Apple Acres. She was finally going to confess her true feelings for Applejack. She couldn't hold it in for another 17 years. After what seemed like hours, Rainbow Dash finally found Applejack.
"Applejack, there's something I need to tell you" the rainbow-haired Pegasus said nervously.
"What is it, sugarcube?" said Applejack as she stared into the Pegasus' magenta ORBS.
"I love you."
"I love you too RD."
Applejack and Rainbow Dash fell into a kiss. AJ's tongue brushed against RD's lips, begging for interest-
I'm just gonna stop here.
This is basically how any shipping fanfiction starts off. Seriously.
Mature Content.
Me being to innocent child I am: lalalalala ooh a jeremike fanfiction. I've never read a jeremike fanfic. I'll read it just for fun. What's this? It says lemon in the title. Wonder what that means. Well, the description doesn't say mature content anywhere. Let's read it!
~two minutes later~
Me: t-thats what lemon means... *washes eyes out with bleach*
Please turn on Mature Content if your story has mature content in it. Some people don't know what "lemon" means.
I had to learn about lemon the hard way😭
Lyrics.
So I'll be reading a book and the male love interest sings a song to the female love interest.
And the author writes every single freakin lyric and all the guitar solos and the background music.
Why.
You can write the chorus or whatever but don't write the whole thing. Please.
Characters in fanfictions
Fluttershy: CELESTIA YOU *****
Me: What.
Sans: let's watch shrek
Papyrus: I'D RATHER WATCH GAY PORN
Me: WHAT. THE HECK. NO.
Please, if you're gonna write a fanfiction, get the characters right. Please. (Btw those were quotes from books) (I don't own those books PLZ don't copyright me)
College.
I'll be readin a book where the main character is in college.
And the whole time during class, they're just talking to Harry Styles.
YOU'RE IN COLLEGE YOU HAVE WORK TO DO.
Okay that's all I have to rant about.
ORBS.
YOU ARE READING
Zabba's Awesome Random Stuff Book!
SonstigesThis is a book where I can put anything I want in it! If you guys want to do a Q&A, we can do that in this book. Wanna do a poll? Do it in this book! Have any ideas or predictions for any of my other books? Comment here! I thought this might be a g...
