*Dans POV*
WARNING. Self harm, depression, anxiety, the lot.
Fucking shit life sucks. I kissed Phil and I totally thought he had kissed me back but apparently not because he then totally shut me down.
Don't get me wrong. If you don't return the feelings for someone you shouldn't go out with them, I just swear he kissed back. I thought we had something. I've known Phil for many years and I was blind to the fact that we don't have anything but friendship.
I just wish it could have never happened and we could go back to being best friends. Right now we are both locked in our rooms and are avoiding each other. I feel awful that I brought this all on Phil. Not only am I in pain that he rejected me, but also that I hurt our friendship.
I need to get out some of this.
Gingerly I look out my door and hurry past Phil's room into the bathroom.
I find the false bottom in one of the drawers and slide out my equipment. It's risky to have my supplies somewhere Phil could easily find but some part of me has always been hoping he would find them.
Removing my blade I sit in the bath.
*Phils POV*
Dan must hate me. This morning we were both in the kitchen and he couldn't make eye contact with me. He rushed out and forgot his cereal.
Since then we have both been in our rooms.
This is all my fault and I know it. I should've done something different.
I should do something. I get up and go to my door. Slightly opening it and peek out I see Dan opening his door.
Quickly I shut my door a crack so I can still see. He comes out and his eyes are red rimmed. He looks at my door and then slides into the bathroom.
*Dans POV*
The first cut I ever made was the best. It was the deepest one I've ever made. I was 12. I had heard about it at school and tried it. Not only did it take everything away for a second, but I felt in control.
Now I make a similar cut. Deep, red, and raw. Blood seeps past my blade and my wrist starts to hurt. Panic sets in and I worry I made it too deep. I run the bath for a second and start to clean up the mess. Moving my arm hurts.
What if I need stitches??
What will I tell Phil?
Right then Phil knocks on the door.
"Dan, are you okay?"
I look down at my hand covering my wrist. Blood seeping in between my fingers.
"No, no I'm not."
