*Keep in mind this is my first fanfiction ever.. Probably not good, but oh well. Includes Smut, some parts may be triggering.. You have been warned! & Be patient, this will take time.*
-Vic's POV-
I awoke to my favorite song 'Numb' by Linkin Park playing from my phone. I pulled the covers off and walked to my dresser and grabbed my phone too see it was only 9:30am & it was just a text from mike. Only my brother would wake me up this early. Ugh. I unlocked my phone to read the message:
Mike; letting you know we all went out to breakfast, didn't want to wake u so yeah & we're going to six flags later so don't wait up.
Me; you kinda already did.. And oh... Well have.. Fun I guess... Bye.
& just like that I was left alone. No one even cared to ask me if I would wanna go.. Because I'm not important. It hurts. I try so hard, but I've never been good enough for my parents, my younger brother, or anyone. I really.. Just... Hate.. Life. We go back to school in a week and I'm not excited. At all. I do well in school, I'm pretty popular, I'm not bullied.. I'm lucky I guess.
I'll finally be a senior and I couldn't wait to get out of that shit hole. I decided to jump in the shower and get ready for the day. Even though my day would just consist if me sitting in my room drowning in my own thoughts.. That scared me sometimes....
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After sitting in my room for most of the day, not bothering to eat I began to hear it again... The voices.. I told them to stop.. They wouldn't. I felt crazy & theres only one thing that would make them stop... No I can't...... It just fucks up my body more... I got up and went into the bathroom taking a look in the full mirror.. & was disgusted by what I saw. Dull brown hair with a little curl to it to my shoulders.. I look like a girl... Then my eyes.. Their so empty.. Lifeless, and the ugly brown color looked like shit. Literally.
I take a step back and gaze at my full body, standing 5' 6 and thin as a pole. The fact that I didn't really eat didn't help that matter much, I guess.. To grimaced to look any longer I ran back into my room and looked at the time, 9:47pm and no one was home still.. They probably won't be home for a few days knowing them their probably at some fancy resort with out me.. Fuck them honestly, not that I would even wanna go, just... The thought.
Whatever I need to quit thinking. I stripped to my boxers and laid down... Then it all hit me. Every bad thought in my mind. I couldn't take it.. I slowly pulled back the covers in tears by now... I reached into my nightstand drawer and pulled out an old friend. Just the cold metal on my fingers instantly begs to relax me. I thought about what I was doing and then looked down at my forearm to be greeted by scars.. Lots of scars... Old & new. I slowly took that blade to my hideous skin and I slowly drag it across, blood slowly oozing out... It was so wonderful.
It didn't hurt that much, but when it did. It made me smile. That I was feeling something. I began to slice again but faster. I kept going till my arm was dripping blood on the floor and my arm looked like a tic tac toe board. In some places there were small cuts not to deep & others were a little deeper.. I slowly got up and walked to the bathroom and began to clean the cuts & bandaged up some of the deep ones.
I then began to clean up the blood on the floor and got into bed, and thought you deserved every bit of that and all I could think was.. 'I know I did'. I gave my sweet razor a kiss goodnight and put it back in the drawer. I rolled over and just like that I fell asleep.
