Welcome to the Family {Synyster Gates}

I'm missing you again...

Syn's POV

I made my way downstairs with Amber, damn she was adorable. I really was in love with her. I know she's gonna want to tell Jimmy soon, since our talk yesterday she was kind of looking forward to it. So, instead of leaving in the middle of the night like I usually do, I stayed with her. 

But now, seeing the look on Jimmys face as me and Amber went downstairs, maybe this was a mistake telling him this way. 

"What the hell Brian?"

He wouldn't even face us. 

"Its not what...." Amber started, looking at me and looking back at her brother. "I'm sorry Jimmy.." 

She looked so upset that she hurt him. 

"Its my fault Jimmy, I told her you wouldn't care.. Don't be mad at her... Please." 

"Why did you two sleep together..." He muttered. He was hurt.

"Jimmy.." She couldn't even continue talking. 

"We're together Jimmy.. I'm not gonna apologize for liking your sister. Just know, if she ever once made any indication she didn't want me around I would have left her alone." 

"Amber...?" He looked at her, and she hugged him. 

"Don't be mad please... I really do like him. He wanted to tell you, but I didn't."

"Don't hurt her Brian... or I swear to god.." He didn't even finish. 

"I won't Jimmy, I promise." I looked at Amber and she smiled. 

"Jimmy, Bri..." She said looking between each of us. 

"Whats up babe?" 

"We're gonna do the tour." The way she said it made me want to jump with joy. I know this tour together would be good for us and it could really help our relationship grow. Honestly, I can see myself marrying her some day. 

"Really?" Jimmy said his eyes lighting up. 

"For you two, yes." She smiled, hugging both of them. 

I was looking forward to this so much. Spending time with the girl I love and my brothers on the road. 

*~* Time Skip. December 2009 *~*

I watched as Jimmy and Amber were off getting high. I wish Jimmy wouldn't hang out with her as much. I still loved Amber very much, but we ended up drifting apart because her band had a short run until Jackson had killed himself. She entirely fell apart and she fell apart way too fast for us to catch it. 

In the end, all Ambs wanted to do was get high and party and sleep around. It kills me to see her this way, but if she cleans herself up I'd try to get her back. Jimmy knows she has a problem to, but he ends up getting high with her on whatever he has. Its like every night you'll find a different set of drugs in his system.

There is a difference. Jimmy isn't an addict. He just likes to party. His music comes first. Just like all of us. Music comes first. Partying second. Amber, she's only touring with us so we don't come home to find her dead. We usually have to force her out on the road, but she's been messing around with this crap for 2 years, and shes constantly trying harder drugs. She's going to end up killing herself. I don't know what would hurt worse, us coming home to find her dead or her dying on tour with us. Amber even avoids our shows if she wants to get high. No, not if she wants to, if she needs to. She is an addict. She just won't admit it, similar to how she won't admit losing Jackson bothered her. Yet, she has a tattoo for him on her wrist. He was more than just her drummer, as she sometimes like to call him, he was her brother and best friend outside of our band. 

"It'll get better man. Jimmy will eventually convince her to get help. He doesn't want to lose her either." I looked up and saw Matt place a hand on my shoulder. I shrugged him off and he sat down next to me.

"I love her..." I sighed. I really did. If I didn't then her acting this way wouldn't hurt as much as it does. She is constantly bringing a guy back on the bus before bus call or leaving and coming back. It's like she does it just to show off. 

"She loved you at one point to. Its been a tough 2 years for her. She'll hit rock bottom soon. Don't tell her I told you but since she's been crashing at my place, she told me that even though she was a great tattoo artist, no shop will let her tattoo with them since shes an addict."  'Loved' he says, past tense. She doesn't anymore, she only loves her drugs. 

"She needs help. I just wish I could help her." 

"She'll get it one way or another. Jimmys mentioned that he's not letting her go on like this much longer." 

"Syn...." a girls voice had said behind us. I could tell that voice anywhere, it was Amber. She sounded hurt and scared. 

"Hey hun, whats up?" I turned to see Amber. She made her way in front of Matt and me and looked at her feet.

"I... I don't think I wanna get high anymore." She looked away as she spoke, sounding like she was about to cry. 

"Come here Amby..." I pulled her into my lap. She needed someone and even if it hurts me in the end, I am going to comfort her.

"I'm tired of this.." 

"I'm here for you babe." 

"Shad... can you be with Jimmy? I don't want him to hurt himself on accident." She said, clinging to my chest. It almost felt like almost no time had past between us. 

"You got it Amber." He gave her a small smile and hugged her gently. He went back to the back room where Jimmy was getting high with some other friends. 

"Can we go talk somewhere?" She said, she looked like something really hurt her. She's never been this scared. 

"Of course, come on lets go upstairs to my room." I pulled her off the couch and led her upstairs. She sat on my bed and smiled to herself. 

She really did look different now. She lost even more weight, probably from the drugs, but she also grew her hair out even longer and it was a a rainbow of different colors, almost like the sunset. She had a chest piece and a sleeve of tattoos as well. On her shoulder, she even had the death bat surrounded by roses. She was wearing a tight black dress, and was carrying her heels. Hell, if you didn't know she was on drugs, she'd be hot. 

"Whats wrong? You're never this jumpy." 

"I didn't get high by Jimmy..." She whispered. 

"You didn't..?"  I really thought she did. But it does explain why she's jumpy. That long with the drugs, taking them out of her system is really going to have her nerves running wild.

"No... I figured I'd just chill and drink, I'm really not feeling the crashes from the drugs, but then Jimmy started talking about sendin me to rehab and how I'm not his sister anymore and I can't lose him. I can't lose my brother." She fell back on the bed crying.  

I sat next to her and held her to me. She really needed someone right now. She thought Jimmy actually hated her. He didn't. He even mentioned how if it would make her better he'd try to settle down for a normal job and leave the band to keep her away from the music scene. 

"I'll talk to him in the morning. I promise." 

"Thanks Syn... I'm sorry for everything." She cried. I just laid next to her and held her close. I don't know what exactly happened, but she leaned up and kissed me. I kissed her back, and she pulled me close like she used to. I ended up leaning on top of her, my arms resting on the bed next to her head.I kissed her, rubbing up against her, causing her to moan slightly. I smirked, same old Amber. I always knew exactly what she liked, and she always knew what I liked. 

"Babe... do you wanna.." I asked holding her to me. I know she's upset but damn have I missed her. 

"I've missed you Syn.." She whispered and kissed me again. It feels weird that she's not calling me by my actual name, but oh well. 

She tugged on my shirt and I removed it for her, undoing the zipper of her dress. She fought at the button on my jeans, and I laughed a bit as I helped her with that as well. You could tell she was drinking, she's a bit clumsier than usual. 

Soon, everything felt like it did before her band took off and broke up.  Before Avenged got big. Before she was an addict. I felt like I had my Amber back and that was all I needed. Even if it was only temporary.

Little did I know, I'd never get to talk with Jimmy like I promised her. Or that even though everything was right for one night, that it would stay that way the next morning. I never imagined that I would wake up to hear that we lost Jimmy for good.