Loving The Captain

Chapter 41

A/N: This is the last chapter. After this there will be a two part epilogue. Comments and votes appreciated as always!

After arriving home from running errands and going to the doctor, Cora closed her front door, sliding the lock into place. Making her way upstairs to the guest room she had taken to staying in, Cora listened to the silence of the house. It was deafening and made her ears ring.

Closing the bedroom door behind her, Cora sat on the bed. The guest room was the room that Sam had used when the guys were all living with her. It was smaller than her own room and her belongings were scattered about in disarray. She had started staying in the guest room after that first, cold and lonely night home. Her room reminded her too much of Steve. She couldn't stand his scent on everything, hanging think in the air. His belongings in the bathroom, his clothes in the closet and dresser. It was too much. Too much for the past three months spent alone in her house.

Of course, people had tried to stop by. To keep her a part of the world, to keep her company. But she ushered everyone away, unable to cope with it all. She still needed time, she told them. Unfortunately, she wasn't sure there would ever be enough time for her to come to terms with Steve being gone. Thankfully, she didn't have to deal with people knowing about the baby. So far, her bump had only begun to show, and she was able to hide it easily with baggy clothes.

He had promised he would always be with her if something happened to him. But he wasn't. The house was empty, except for her, and the child growing inside of her belly.

Removing her shoes, Cora changed into a pair of sweats and a t-shirt before going to her purse. Reaching inside, she pulled out a small, rectangular picture. It was thin and fragile, black and white. It was a picture from the ultrasound she had just come home from.

Going across the hall, Cora stood in front of her bedroom door and took a deep breath. She hadn't set foot in her own room for three months. But there was something she needed to do.

Pushing open the door, Cora stopped just inside. The room was exactly the way she had left it. Of course it was, no one had been in there. The bed was made, and the room was neat and tidy.

Going to the dresser, Cora placed the ultrasound picture next to the framed picture of Steve. She had taken the picture during his first summer at her house. He was sitting on his motorcycle, waiting to take Cora for her first ride. He was laughing, with a huge smile on his face, truly happy.

"I just got back from the doctor, Steve." Cora's voice was unsteady. Talking to photographs was something that she had started doing after her parents died. She had done it when Riley had been killed as well, but it was something she hadn't done in so long, it felt strange.

Picking up the ultrasound and Steve's picture, Cora moved to the love seat and sat down. The afternoon sun shone into the room from the windows and the seat was warm. The heat caressed her skin, and for a moment, Cora was able to close her eyes and imagine that Steve was there with her.

"A girl. We're going to have a little girl." She sniffed, trying to hold back her tears. "I miss you so much. And...Steve, I'm so scared. I don't know what to do with myself. I can't be around our friends. It hurts too much. And soon, they'll know...I can't hide her forever." Cora placed her hand over her growing bump as she felt the familiar fluttering of the baby moving.

"I'm sorry I haven't talked to you. It's just...easier to pretend that you're just not home, rather than actually being gone. That...I'm having your baby and that you're...dead. But...I'm want you to know that I'm going to be okay. I just need time...Tony and Pepper came by the other day. They brought your things from the apartment. Tony said that you had changed your will and left everything to me." Now that she had started talking, the words and her tears fell free. "Everything is still in boxes. I thought about going through them but...I almost feel like I'm invading your privacy. Tony...he's a good man...he...set me up with a sort of pension. So I don't have to work if I don't want to. He said I was practically your wife and so, since the army doesn't do widow's pensions for fiancés, that he would do it himself. I think Pepper and Natasha may suspect about the baby. Maybe they said something to him about it. We all miss you, Steve. So much. I feel like I've lost part of myself. If it weren't for our little girl, I would have no purpose left. Losing you...has nearly completely broken me. For all of my strength, for all of my...pulling through...this is something I just can't come to terms with. They tell me you are dead, and yet I still feel like you could walk through the front door at any moment..."

Cora sat there talking, pouring out her hearts contents for hours. When she finally ran out of things to say, the sky had gone dark. Placing the pictures back on her dresser, Cora took one look back at the room, placing a hand on her belly as her daughter fluttered. Perhaps, she could move back into her room. After all, she felt better now that she had managed to say all of those things aloud. All of the things that had been plaguing her mind for so long.

Making her way downstairs, Cora first went to the kitchen and found something to eat. While she didn't have much of an appetite, she knew the baby needed the nutrients.

Grabbing a bottle of water and an apple, Cora went to the entry way where all of the boxes had been left. Tony and Pepper had offered to help her move them, but at the time she had refused.

Going to the first box, Cora opened the top and looked inside. The first thing she noticed was a white envelope with her name on it. It was Steve's handwriting.

Her hands shaking, Cora opened the envelope and sat on the stairs to read it.

"My Dearest Cora,

If you are reading this, it means that something has happened to me. Please know that whatever the cause, whatever the situation, I love you.

You gave me a reason to live, someone to live for. Everything I thought I had lost at the end of the war, I found in you. My only regrets are that if you are reading these words, it means that our life together has come to an end.

Please don't lose sight of what we had, and don't give up. You are strong, and you will survive this. Take the time you need, but don't push everyone away. They love you and they care about you.

I know you will be all right. Go on and live your life. Be happy. Please, be happy. Don't be afraid to fall in love. You have my blessings. All I want is for you to be happy, however that may be..."

Cora read the letter, cried and then reread it. While it hurt to read Steve's last words to her, it was as though he knew what she would be going through.

Folding it back up and returning it to the envelope, Cora lay the letter down and returned to the boxes.

There were several full of his clothes. His art supplies. Even his shaving kit had been included. When she came across his war medals and the photographs from his mantle, Cora carried them into the living room.

Placing them on her own mantle, amidst the pictures of her own family, Cora stepped back. She was proud to have them, and one day, when their daughter was old enough, she would pass them down to her.

"Your father would've loved you so much," Cora would say. She would raise their daughter to know Steve as the man he was, and that Captain America was what he did, not who he was. That Captain America wasn't his greatest doing.