College Fiend [A$AP Rocky]

Ten

My father is a coward.

This was something a bit difficult to come to terms with, but it was the truth. During my childhood, I sure thought that Daddy was the strongest man on Earth to be able to not only put up with my mother and her antics during her time alive, but to be able to withstand the news of her affair after her death without much complaint. When he found out from my mother’s brother, who was notorious for being a drunk, he didn’t believe it. Daddy thought that it was just another one of Uncle Brutus’ unconscious lies.

I could have let him stay under that impression, but instead, I confirmed what my uncle said.

Daddy didn’t cry, or if he did I wasn’t there to see it. He just took the news, looked at me, looked away, and said ‘Oh’. Then he went back to his room for a nap. He slept for a mighty long time—I kept going back into the room to check on him in his sleep, to see if he was still alive, because I always suspected God would take my father away from me too—and when he woke up, he went about his life normally. It was evident that he was hurt, but he still took it very well. I always, in my own mind, respected and commended him for that.

But now I see that he isn’t as strong and brave as I thought.

Firstly, who contributes to the imprisonment of their blameless child? My father knew that I didn’t murder anybody, but still felt the need to say that I lied to him. Of course I lied to him about what my mother was doing! Did he expect me to betray her and tell him where she used to go at nights when she always begged me to keep it a secret? If he did, then I should be ashamed to call him a father. But on top of that, when I got back to the college, I learned that my father and his wife left immediately after I was dragged away.

He couldn’t even come and visit me, that coward.

I didn’t show my disappointment in my father as I lay on my bed in the dorm, partly because I was trying not to care about it, and because I couldn’t bother with the concern Sheena would display if I did. She had been attending to me since I got back, massaging my feet and brushing my hair and getting me water. She probably pitied me.

It would only get worse if I told her how I felt about my father. I’d have my very own therapist in the room with me.

“Wayne was talking about you,” Sheena told me. We were both on my bed; she busied herself on her laptop while I just rested on a fluffy pillow.

“Was he?” I asked, trying to hide my blush. It was useless anyway, for Sheena was concentrated on whatever informational website she wanted to use for her Ethics essay.

“Yeah, he kept checking with the front desk to see if there were any updates about your whereabouts.”

Thank God Sheena was paying no attention to me, because I could feel my cheeks getting warmer and warmer. It wasn’t out of this world for Wayne to do something like that, because I could imagine myself doing that too. I knew why he didn’t come and visit me in the jail—he cared about me, but he was a little bit afraid to show it.

That’s cute.

“I bet if he was allowed to, he’d come all the way up here to see you.” Sheena continued. As she spoke to me, for some reason, I didn’t think about Wayne. Not this time—I just listened to her voice.

I promised myself that as soon as Sheena and I were back on good terms I would ask her about what I saw. We’d been talking for a solid few days now; what was holding me back but myself? It was time to ask her. So after inhaling, exhaling, and shifting around on the bed, I did.

“Who were you talking to the other night on the phone?”

It was the wrong question!

I was supposed to ask her about the sex toys, not the secret conversation! Although, at least I got to ask her something I’d wanted to know anyway. Still, if I were to ask her about the items now, it would seem as if I was prying.