The Trans Girl

Why Me Why You Why Us...

In the morning I was already awake, I remembered I had cut myself the previous day's and I was shirtless. I quickly hurried to get my shirt on so Madeline wouldn't see. Minutes later she woke up and grabbed my shoulder, that was the spot where I cut myself...shit it hurt like hell. I try not to wince, and barely show pain in my facial expression.
She groans like a drunk person and says tiredly, "did we have sex?"
All I could do was laugh to myself.
"No we just cuddled all night, gosh" I kiss her cheek and smile.
She could tell something was wrong, somehow.
"Somethings wrong, spill it, now" she sounded strict like her dad at that moment.
"Madeline, I'm fine" I say, suddenly feeling slightly scared of her tone.
"Fine, whatever" she just got up and kissed my cheek, she seemed pretty pissed off this morning.
Maybe it's her period? I think of this, stupidly.
I grabbed my stuff in the morning and was ready to leave she frowned when she saw me.
"Leaving already love?" She said in a pretend British accent.
"Yeah...gotta get home so I can get to work." I shrug, it was a lie actually, I only worked Sunday mornings.
"Awe, okay." She said kinda sad. She walks over to me and kisses me, I kiss back but e don't kiss very long.
"I'll text you later" I said, and hug her. "Bye beautiful..." I wink at her
"Bye Max baby" she winks back and I leave.

I walk home from her house thinking about the whole situation. Many things went through my head.
How does she know something is wrong! What does she see in me! How can this work! She doesn't know about your scars, your suicide attempts, your cutting, and that one time...I tried too kill someone over being a huge homophobe to me.
"God I'm fucked up." I mumble to myself and unlock my apartment door, to my messy dark band decorated apartment.
"Ah...home sweet suicidal home" I sigh and sit on the couch being lazy all day.