Thoughts

Pickled

Sometimes life is a pickle jar

All of the thoughts and questions,

Unable to be decided,

Just stuck in the jar of your head

You try to decide.

But you can't decide.

Should you join the group

Or not and risk forever being an outsider.

But why, why is it so important to get involved

I enjoy my life and don't feel the need to do so.

I am not lonely

Or in need of friends. 

So why can't I decide?

Why is it so bad to be an outsider?

What even is an outsider?

Someone who doesn't care enough to get involved in school activities,

Or someone who just simply doesn't want to.

Why can't I decide?

It's like a battle going on in my head.

Hell, it's the civil war!

Guns firing and cannons rocketing and bombs exploding!

And neither side seems to be winning

Only loosing more and more soldiers.

But what do I do?

To stay and be comfortable with the company of yourself and risk becoming an outsider

Or, to join in even though you don't want to?