Broken (Edited)

(4)

I woke suddenly in a hospital bed. I didn't know why I was there at first. Then I remembered the screaming sirens. The paramedic filling me with all kinds of drugs that I couldn't even begin to comprehend.

I was snapped back to reality when my head started pounding like it was full of energetic elephants. I still couldn't piece together what had happened to bring me here. Just then, a lovely looking nurse whose name I did not know walked in.

"Hello Emily dear, glad to see you're finally awake!" She exclaimed. All I could seem to do was force a small smile. "I'm going to ask you a few seemingly random questions. This is because we want to make sure you haven't suffered from any memory loss. You hit your head pretty hard up at the school."

That's when it all hit me at once. Jasen. My breathing immediately turned sharp and my vision blurry. I continued to scream Jasen's name until my throat turned to fire. The nurse gave me water and had a doctor bring in medicine to calm me down.

He was gone. My love was gone forever and I had caused it. 

After about 15 minutes my fear turned to tears. "Shh dear it's all right. I am no longer going to as you clearly remember the scenario well. I am terribly sorry for your loss." She said sweetly. "Thank you." I said shakily, which was all I could seem to get out. I continued to think and think about him. Our first kiss. How terrified I was. Jasen wasn't my first kiss, but he was the first person I had ever kissed that I felt something real for. So many amazing memories. Now we couldn't make more. I suddenly felt everything at once. Anger, confusion, desolation.

Jasen was the first person I had ever felt truly happy with. I loved the way his name was spelled differently than everyone else, his laugh, his smile. I loved everything about him and more. He was perfect. Everyone around school talked about how we were the perfect couple. Some said they wouldn't be surprised if we lasted a lifetime. 

While I was thinking of all this, my mom walked in, holding two steaming cups of coffee. Yes. This is exactly what I need right now. My mom knew me better than anyone. She was really all I had. After my dad had passed away, we only had each other. My mom knew almost exactly what I was going through right now as she had been through it before, only much worse.

"How are you feeling dear?" My mom asked kindly. "Not so good for obvious reasons." I replied, sounding defeated. After that, we drank our coffee and listened to music in comfortable silence. God I loved my mom so much. I would be gone by now if not for her.