That Heart Is So Cold

Part 18

"Everything is gonna be alright" he whispered to himself. Levi had woke up slightly after nine on a Saturday morning, Erens spot if the bed was empty but a note laid on the table:

'I got out to town with Hanji, don't wake up. Breakfast is still on the table c: -Eren'

He felt empty and bored, and old feeling he haven't felt in quiet some time sence the brat came here. But now, as out of nowhere it came crawling back to him.
He went up from the bed quickly, didn't bothering eating or stuffing the breakfast belongings back to where it should be, he probably would need to buy new milk later one but didn't care. Walked out on the small balcony and lit a cigarette.
The feeling felt strange, it was a long time sense he smoke to, now that he think about it. Had that kid really changed him?
He hung slightly over the handle, resting the elbow of the arm holding the cigarette on the handle too. Breathing out smoke in the air. He lit another one when the current one had lit out, tapping on it softly with one of his fingers so some of the ash feel down.

He needed to figure out something to do, he needed to keep his body going and his mind focused. He started with going inside and putting the things back where they belonged, a nearly empty package of milk and some yougurt got to go in the trash.
He felt like litting another cigarette when done, he consider it and decided to just do it instead.
He was careful letting out smoke or/and any traces of cigarettes.
He wasn't ashamed of smoking he just knew it wasn't good for ya and didn't want Eren to like to try it.

The hours seemed to go slower then ever before and he caught himself thinking of Eren more then once. Decided when the clock hit half pasted twelve that it was probably time to at least get your ass moving to some milk. Just dragging an old t-shirt over your head and grey jeans before grabbing a bag and heading out, the cigarettes automatically sliding into his pants pocket.

He took a longer walk then he intended, missing the road cause he was to deep in his own thoughts and didn't care to go back.
Milk, yougurt, noodles, bread and then back home again, cursing the fact that you weren't allowed to smoke on the streets anymore, hiding a bottle of alcohol in the bottom the bag, heading back home.

He put everything where it should be, sighing at the pile of dishes but hadn't got enough motivation to get rid of it. Opened the trash can, the package of cigarette tightly clenched in his hand, a few seconds went by until, to his own disappointment, he closed the trash can again, throwing the package the counter.

'Take my apology, I'm sorry for their honesty but I need to get this of my chest.
I don't love you baby, I don't need you baby, I don't wanna love you, no, anymore.'

I feel asleep on the couch with my old music list in the speaker beside my phone.