The Only Hope For Me Is You

Chapter 22

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Frannie's POV

I am slowly starting to hate myself. My friends think I'm at my sister's art exhibition. And my sister thinks I’m hanging out with my friends. I’m a liar, the very thing I never expected myself to be.

I slipped on my velvet red dress I borrowed from Feely's closet and scowled at myself in the mirror. Staring back at me was a depressed, frail, little girl wearing a strapless, over the knee, red dress. Tears ran down her face ruining her mascara. I didn't recognize the stranger looking back at me. She expressed everything I never tried to be. I pitied her.

I kept my hair loose not bothering to comb it. I grabbed my messenger bag, not the typical pretty purse that would complement an outfit of this sort, and went downstairs. Feely already left for her show. She didn't leave without making me feel guilty, though. Right before heading out the door, she said and I quote,"Hmm, I really wish you could've seen the big painting, no, the big masterpiece I made of you. Since, you know, you are my inspiration, little sister. My blood. My genes. My leftover kidney should I ever need one replaced." Then she sniffed and ran out.

I locked up the house. Somehow, I had a feeling I wasn't going back there for a long while. I decided I'd make my way to Andy's house on foot. I'll appreciate the silence and peacefulness before all the chaos at his party.

I wonder what my friends are up to. Did they miss me? Were they even thinking of me? As much as it hurts to admit it to myself, things are probably the same as before I came into their lives. I don't make much of a difference. They were all probably a lot more comfortable around each other now that I wasn't around.

I walked on and on using the time Gerard and I went to prank Andy's house as my guide. I smiled remembering the great times I had with him. Thinking about Gerard made me think about Frank asking me to the dance yesterday. That was so sudden and unexpected I fear I may have answered too quickly. Do I really want to go with Frank? I hadn't really thought of him like that...not that I did think of anyone in that way for that matter. I just...when I heard Erika squealing over the Halloween bash I couldn't help but blush at the thought of me and Gerard going together. Somehow, I saw myself with him, having a great time. But just yesterday seeing him show absolutely no emotion at Frank asking me out was enough to squash my little fantasy. He didn't like me like that. How could I be so airheaded to even expect him to?

Suddenly, I could hear music blasting loudly far off into the distance. I used that sorry excuse for music to lead me instead.

Cars were lining up by the hundreds in Andy's street. It seemed like every teenager in Belleville knew of this party. I bet my grandma knew of this party. Who knew such a douche bag could be so popular?

My mouth slacked open when I reached his house, nay, his mansion. There was people everywhere, literally. There were people on the front lawn, on the roof, halfway between the fences, and inside the royal mailbox (use your imagination). Life is so unfair sometimes. Andy was cruel and heartless yet he had it all.

I had to push my way through the crowd. All sorts of smells wafted into my nostrils: sweat, underage drinking, and sex. I so wanted to go home. This wasn’t my scene. My parents would be ashamed if they ever saw me here.

Inside the house, I leaned back against a wall next to coat hangers, looking inconspicuous. Nobody even payed the least bit attention to me. I was a flower on a wall.

I pushed the hair off my face and bit my lip. What now? Should I go look for Andy? Or should I just stay here for the rest of the night and bring a picture to Andy as proof that I did go to his party just as he commanded. What if he came looking for me? Hopefully, he wasn’t that desperate.