The Only Hope For Me Is You

Chapter 23

Frannie's POV

It's Monday. I don't know how I was able to get up in the morning let alone function. I felt terrible and I had a massive headache. Feely's screaming this morning didn't make it any better.

"How could you do this!? This is my favorite dress! Do you know how much this cost me?! Do you know how many pounds I have to lose to be able to wear this again since you freakishly stretched it! Why can't you eat like a normal person?! And bla, bla, bla, bla, bla." Feely had screeched like a dog's been stepped on. She almost fainted as soon as she saw the conditions of the dress. It didn't help when I threw it on the floor either.

So I barely made it to school. Partly because I had to force myself to. And partly because my sister almost ripped me to shreds. I haven't talked to anyone all day. No, scratch that. No one has talked to me all day. Mikey wouldn't even look at me during class. I threw paper clips at him to try to get his attention but I got daggers instead.

Half the school was empty. Everyone was probably still hungover from Andy's party. I thank God for Andy's absence. It would've been so much harder with him around. So I could basically say that my day so far was a boring, uneventful, and monotonous. That is, until lunchtime came around.

Grabbing my tray brimming with food (I eat a lot when I'm stressed), I made up my resolution. I would go over to their table and demand their forgiveness. Yes, that's what I'll do. I'm not afraid. I'll take a stand. Everybody, come take my hand. We'll walk this world together, through the storm-wait, what? Frannie, this isn't the time to sing Eminem! (This is what happens to me when I have no one to talk to all day.)

My feet felt like they weighed a ton. I was dragging them towards the table. It was the walk, the walk where everything seems farther than what it actually is. When I finally reached it, my courage and bravery went out the back door. (Traitors!)

They were all there...well, weirdly enough, except Frank. Again. I wonder what must've happened to him. This is the second time I don't see him around.

Other than him, everybody was there. And they were acting as if yesterday was just a dream and that everything was alright. They were all laughing and joking around. Except...Gerard and Mikey. Did they really miss me or was this just their way of expressing their hate for me?

I sat down in the last empty seat in between Sergio and Bob. Immediately upon arrival, they had but to give each other a look and they stood up and left me by eating myself.

"Go back to Wichita." I heard. (What? I'm from New York not Wichita!)

Mikey and Ray hesitated before leaving and Erika gave me a look of sympathy. Izzy, Sergio, Bob, and Gerard left without a glance. I felt weird and sick to my stomach when Izzy put her arm around Gerard's waist as they left. I saw him stiffen to her touch but he didn't stop her. Unknowingly, I looked down and saw that I was squeezing the life out of my burrito.

"Esta gente y sus problemas. Me tienen mal. Mi romance quimico, te quiero con todo mi corazon." I rambled in spanish, swallowing everything that smelled good.

So they did hate me. No doubt about it. How can I make them forgive me? They can't stay mad at me forever! Yes, I lied. Yes, I tricked them. But it's not that big of a deal...is it? Maybe there's more to it than they're letting on. Like me, there's more to my story than what they are bearing to listen. Or do they just hate Andy a lot?

I glided through the rest of my day, not really paying attention to my surroundings. I got a D- on my literature test and I forgot to turn in my homework. But I was numb, I didn't feel the pain of irresponsibility.

For the rest of the week I spent my time either in class or hidden in the bathroom stall. Andy was back with his goons and I did not want to be caught in his sights. There is no doubt he is looking for me. I also wanted to save my embarrassment from my 'friends'. I still consider them my friends.

Lunch in the stall is unappetizing. I brought my lunch from home so naturally, it's as disgusting as it sounds. (Yes, I made it.)  But I passed the time by drawing on the walls. I wrote short poems and doodles and lyrics to my favorite songs. I felt like a rebel. I will save what little reputation I had and tell no one.

One day though, I recieved a not-so pleasant surprise from my favorite person in the world.

Boom, boom, boom! "Hurry up in there! You're a little young to be constipated!" yelled Izzy, like an annoying scratch I could not reach.

I swung open the door and glared at her. She was taken by surprise but quickly masked it to show anger. "What? Is there no other stall in this bathroom?" I said, not moving from my spot inside the stall.

She snorted (like a pig),"Wow, this is where you spend your lunch hour? Wait till the guys hear about this."

"Do you not have something better to do than make my life more miserable than it already is?"

"Do you not have something better to...Oh, wait. You don't. You don't have any friends." She laughed.

"Why are you so mean? What is wrong with you?"

"Shut up, bitch." Izzy rolled her eyes.

"Who are you to tell me to shut up!? Why can't we talk like two normal human beings!?"

 "This is what you get for messing with my friends! For messing with me. I will make sure you spend the rest of your high school life inside this bathroom stall." She walked closer to me, threateningly.

"What did I ever do to you!? I just moved here weeks ago and suddenly I'm your number one target!?" I yelled stepping closer. We were both the same height so neither had the advantage of towering over the other.

"You're ruining everything! You're ruining my life!" she yelled back.

"What in hell!? I don't know you! You're crazy! Crazy!!! I haven't done anything! I will not stand here and let you accuse me of things your neurotic mind has conjured up!"

"Nothing you say? How about taking my spot after just a week of my absence? Everyone acted as if I wasn't even there. I was replaced!" she continued breathlessly,"How about lying to us? How about stealing my best friends? How about stealing your way into my ex-boyfriend's heart! How about that, you whore?!" She fumed.

"How is that any of my fault?! I had no control of anything that's happened the last few days, believe me-"

"I'd rather not, liar." she said coldly.

"You guys won't even let me explain! And it's not my fault that Frank asked me to the dance. I had absolutely no idea he was your ex-boyfriend and I apologize for-"

"Frank isn't my ex, it's Gerard, you dumbass! And you had to go and trick him into falling for you!!!" My heart was beating fast. Jealousy rose up within me. I had no idea Izzy and Gerard dated.

"Stop calling me names! And I have no idea what you're talking about! He doesn't like me! This just goes to show how insane you are!!!"

"You know what, ho? Get out of my way!" she screamed throwing her hands up in the air.

"I will not! I will not! I will not!!! This is my life too and if you think you can just push me out of it then you got another thing coming. I will make them all forgive me and understand why I did what I did. Cause I'm not o-fucking-kay with it! And if you don't want to be my friend, then that's alright. Cause you know what?! I don't give a shit! If your life is in heaps, don't drag me along with you."

She screamed and pulled me out of the way and locked herself in the bathroom. "That's not what  meant, you idiot! I have to take a fucking piss!!!"

 I was momentarily stunned. By the fight, by the unexpected pull, by the sudden sound of pee, by everything. I stood dumbstruck outside the door, unable to move. She hates me, terribly. I had no idea that's what she might've been feeling. This is why she wouldn't talk to me. What did she mean by "stealing my way into...Gerard's heart"? Could it be true? Did he like me like that? But it's impossible, there's no way. She's a lunatic. Even if he did, all those feelings might've been squashed yesterday by my big fat lie. There's no possible way he could ever feel that way about me. Somehow, I wish it could be true. That the reason for his misteriousness is because of that. Suddenly I came to an eye-opening realization.

I think...I may have feelings for Gerard.

Tan! Tan! Tan! *dramatic music* Please comment, vote, something, anything! Pleeeaase!?