Winding Roads

Chapter 12: Little Bean

I had well.. collected? my sperm, and about 8 weeks later, it was the moment zayn and I were waiting for, of course we were used to all the doctors by now, since we started the surrogacy process I've had chemo once a week, and checkups on a different day once a week. I knew not only was I fighting for zayn, but now a baby that was mine, a part of me, that even if someday I wasn't here, a part of me would still be here and I thought that was the most special thing in this world. Our surrogate mother was an old friend of mine and Zayn's, we met her while we were on our first tour, she was our only female body guard, and I can say that she was also the most bad ass. We liked the thought of someone we knew to carry the baby, someone we could trust and someone that wouldn't try to take the baby from us, of course.  "well, you're pregnant" the doctor said to our surrogate mother, and in that moment my face and whole life lit up, I never knew when this day would come, I never knew how soon, but it just felt so amazing and so right.. and I was so excited to see what this adventure would bring.

      "you have any name ideas?" zayn asked as he played with my cheeks, "I started a list" I said smiling and he smiled also "a list, how organized is my baby about our baby" I kissed his hand when he said that, our baby, it was going to be all ours and that was amazing to me. "go on love what's your idea?" he asked and ran his thumb over my cheek. "Aspyn, Brynn or Brinley, Kinsley and then boys, Elijah, Maddox, Kohen or Leighton" I recited as if I had practiced saying the names, I hadn't really I was just excited to see what he thought. He just smiled at me, taking in the name ideas I had given him "They're all perfect, I can't think of any better choices, the problem is just choosing one" I nodded and thought for a bit and then at nearly the same time we had decided the names, and also at nearly the same time we both said "Kinsley and Elijah" of course we needed one of each until we found out the gender, but it really made it real to have two names picked out.

      The first ultrasound was emotional, but not in a bad way. In a way of seeing mine and zayns unborn child, looking at the life that we would soon meet, soon raise to be our beautiful son or daughter. I was excited, but that was an understatement, I nearly wanted to squeal in happiness when leaving the clinic but of course, I refrained from that reaction and instead I kissed Zayn more passionately than I've been able to in my weak state. The ultrasound was one of the few times I've been out of the house since the surgery, I wasn't complaining because it meant more time in bed with zayn, but being outside was more pleasant than I had remembered, especially when it meant that Zayn and I got to see our little bean, that's what I'll call him or her for now, little bean.