Jerrie- Take Care Of You (Little Mix)- ON HOLD

Chapter 5

A/N: This chapter gets quite dark in places, just a warning.

Jade's POV

I couldn't believe I'd come out to the girls! For the rest of the evening I felt so happy and relieved that I forgot about all my problems. We didn't do much, just sat around talking and messing around. I stayed in this happy bubble until right before we decided to go to sleep.

I had completely forgotten my phobia of the dark until we were all lying in Leigh-Anne's bedroom, ready to go to sleep. Leigh-Anne and Perrie were in Leigh's bed, and me and Jesy were on the floor on an inflatable mattress and a huge pile of pillows and blankets. I almost ended up sleeping next to Perrie, but Jesy offered instead, saving me from possibly messing up. Jesy was being amazing with this, I thought.

When Leigh flicked the light switch next to her bed the room suddenly went black and I almost screamed. I completely forgot how terrified I was. Then Perrie turned on the lamp next to Leigh-Anne's bed, and I felt even worse. The lighting in the room now was so similar to the bus that night...

I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to wipe all thoughts of it from my mind, and hoped that this would be one of the rare nights when I didn't have nightmares. I managed to fall asleep quite quickly, but my hopes for a dreamless night didn't work out. My dreams were a blur, so I didn't exactly have to relive anything from that night, but they were a blur of memories, images and sounds. Leaving my dad's house. sitting on a bus which was too dark because half of the lights weren't working. A group of men sitting at the back. Almost falling over as I got off. The rain making my hair frizzy as I walked down the main road. Deciding to take a shortcut down a long alley that ended next to my house. Trying to smooth my hair down. Hearing a voice behind me saying "Don't bother with your hair gorgeous, it'll be worse when I've finished with you. Turning around to look at him, but I can't see his face because of the dark. He pushes me up against a wall. I scream.

I woke up, and realised that I'd screamed in real life as well. I looked at Jesy, who luckily seemed to be unaffected by the noise. I saw Leigh-Anne's eyes flutter open for a second, but luckily they closed again and she seemed to still be sleeping. Perrie showed no sign of life. I breathed in and out slowly, then realised how dark it was. I suddenly started shaking, and the darkness felt as if it was about to swallow me up. I couldn't get the images from my dream out of my head. Then I thought about what had happened after the scream that woke me up this time. The man putting one hand over my mouth and another on the waistband of his jeans. Begging him. Him slapping me and telling me to shut up.

I started to cry quietly and pulled the blanket over my face. I wiped the tears away with my hand and tried to keep my sobs as quiet as I could.

"Jade?" I heard a voice say, making me jump. Oh shit. Perrie.

"Y-yeah?" I answered quietly.

"Are you ok Poopey? It sounds like you're crying" She whispered.

"I-I'm fine" I lied.

"No you're not. Let's talk downstairs so we don't wake up these two" She said. She carefully climbed over Leigh-Anne, and reached her hand down, pulling me up from where I lay next to Jesy. She pulled me out of Leigh's bedroom, and we walked down the stairs. She sat on the sofa, and I sat next to her.

"Would you like to tell me what's wrong?" Perrie asked gently, turning to face me.

 "Not really, you wouldn't understand" I told her, still crying a bit.

"Yes I will, promise!" She said, squeezing my hand like Jesy had when I came out to her earlier that day. Even though the action was exactly the same it felt so different to me. Jesy's touch had reassured me and made me feel more comfortable, but feeling Perrie's hand on mine made my heart skip a beat and butterflies fly wildly in my stomach. I took a deep breath.

"It's... something that happened to me. A few years back. The main reason I was always so shy in my other schools. I guess that makes it one of the reasons I got bullied too" I confessed, hoping she wouldn't ask for any more details. I couldn't lie to Perrie.

"What happened baba? You can tell me anything" She said.

"I... I was in year 7. I left my dad's house later than usual one night. It was only about 7, but it was November so it was dark outside. I got on the bus, and there were these men sitting at the back. They shouted stuff and whistled when I got on but I ignored them. When I got off I thought they stayed on the bus. I took a shortcut home down this alley. I heard a man's voice behind me. I think it was one of the ones from the bus, but to this day I don't know. It was too dark to see his face. I don't want to go into details, but he... he... he raped me" I said, my voice breaking on the last three words. I started crying again, 10 times harder than before. Perrie put both arms around me, and rubbed my back gently.

"That's horrible Jade! I can't believe anyone would... this world is so fucked up!" She said. I hugged her back for a second, then removed her arms from my waist and looked at her, She looked like she might start crying herself.

"Don't cry Perrie! This is my problem not yours" I told her through my own tears.

"Don't be stupid Jade. I care about you! It's my problem if my best friend is hurt!"

"I'm fine. That was the past. It's left me with a lot of issues, but I can deal with those on my own"  I said. Perrie had called me her best friend!

"I can help you. Whatever you need, I'll help you with it. If it's someone to talk to, a shoulder to cry on, or just some company, I'm here. Hell, let me know if you find out who the bastard is!" She said, a dangerous look flashing into her eyes. Despite my emotions I smiled slightly. Perrie pulled me into her arms again.

"So you don't think I'm pathetic? I'm scared of the dark. I have nightmares most nights" I confessed.

"That's understandable baba! You're not pathetic, you're human!" She told me. She hugged me tighter, then pulled away and wiped the tears from my eyes. When she finished I just fell back onto her. We somehow ended up lying on Leigh-Anne's sofa, Perrie lying behind me with her arms around my waist, giving me chills.

I don't know how long we stayed like that for, but after what seemed like quite a long time I whispered "Pez?". She didn't answer, and I turned around slightly, seeing that her eyes were shut, long, dark lashes casting shadows on her perfect skin. I couldn't help myself. I leaned in slowly and pressed my lips to hers for a moment. Then I pulled back, shocked at what I had just done. I was pretty sure she was still asleep, thank God. I licked my lips, tasting hers. I wished our first kiss could have happened when she knew about it, but I knew that wasn't possible. I was just grateful that despite everything that happened I had someone who loved me and cared about me like she did, even if it wasn't in the same way I loved and cared about her.

I drifted to sleep, the smell of Perrie's soft skin and apple shampoo filling my nose. My dreams were a blur of images and sounds again, but this time they were different, happier. Perrie's laugh. Stunning blue eyes. Pink petals falling in our hair as we sat under our favourite tree in the playground. The contrast of the bright pink against the pale blonde of her hair. The loud beats of my heart the first time she hugged me. The way she says my name. The moment I woke up, I knew something I didn't the night before. I was in love with Perrie Louise Edwards.