Don't Go (A KaiSoo fanfic) #wattys2016

17: Empty

(Author's POV)

Despondent.

Dejected.

Angry.

This was JongIn by the time he left the hospital. Numerous people, including Super Junior, SHINee. and EXO came to visit him during those three weeks but he didn't say anything. Not a single word. Therapist came to try to coax him into speaking but nothing worked. He ate just enough not worry his mother but hunger racked his body. He didn't care though. He wanted revenge but knew that wasn't the best use of his time.

(JongIn's POV)

We pulled up to our house in silence. I knew father was not home because he was arrested a week after I was admitted into the hospital. Stupid son of a bitch. He deserves whatever he gets in there. I hope they tear him apart. I was not able to testify against due to my hospitalization but the pictures of my back was thankfully enough on my part. I moved to get out the car but was stopped. "JongIn wait for Jeong Su to get the wheelchair from out of the trunk." Soo Jin said. I rolled my eyes and pushed the door open, trying to stand. "JongIn wait!" Soo Jin yelled as my knees gave out. I collided with a hard chest. 

Looking up, I met MinHo's soft eyes. "You should have waited, Nini." his voice was soft like he was trying to make me feel comfortable. He helped me stand straight up and sat me in the wheelchair. Jeong Su pushed me into the house and towards the guest room on the bottom floor. "Hyung." I whispered. Everyone paused, I guess shocked that I spoken. He moved to squat in front of me. "Yes Nini?" I kept my eyes low, refraining from eye contact. 

"I want to go to my room." 

He looked towards the kitchen where the others were. "But Nini h-" "I can walk..." his shoulders slouched. Soo Jin appeared beside me. "Nini, you haven't walked in three weeks. Can you just stay down here for now?" Not wanting to press the matter any further, I nodded. She smiled as Jeong Su hyung pushed me into the guest room. The blood I left behind was gone. The floor was back to its burnt wood color and new bed sheets adorned the bed. The room smelled heavily of bleach. Regretting my decision instantly, I hoisted myself out the chair and onto the bed. Hyung placed the wheelchair by the bed before leaving the room. SooJin returned a few minutes later with a sandwich and chips. Handing them to me, she sat on the edge of the bed. "Nini baby, I have to run out to get meat for dinner and Jeong Su is going to pick up Young Soon. MinHo and TaeMin should be around the house and KyungSoo ran home quickly to shower. If you need anything, call one of us, okay?" I nodded before she smiled and walked out the room.

 I waited for the front door to open and close before putting the plate of food down and pulling the wheelchair over. After hoisting myself into the wheelchair and wheeled my way out of the room. I silently made my way through the living room as MinHo and TaeMin watched tv. I stopped in front of the stairs and stood up, balancing myself on the banister.

'Right foot then left foot. Slow and steady wins the race.'

I made my way up the stairs, pulling myself most of the way. My knees were screaming by the time I reached the top step. I forced myself farther, balancing myself on the wall. Entering my room, the crib caught my attention.

 The empty crib. 

The crib where my children were supposed to lay their heads at night.

 Where I could watch them grow until I had a house of my own and they were too big to sleep in the crib. 

My kids. 

My reason to continue to fight through this hellish existence. 

I placed my hand on my stomach. I felt empty after growing use to their excited kicks when I spoke to them. Hobbling across the room, I rested my hands on the railing. "Why did you leave me?" Tears ran down my face. "My life is empty without you." My grip grew tighter until the railing broke. Stepping away from the crib, I realized what I did. Anger bubbled and I kicked the crib again, knocking the leg out of place, tipping it over. I heard feet run up the stairs and towards my room. "JongIn? Are you okay?" TaeMin said from behind me. I looked down at the crib on the floor.

I started to kick the crib even more, watching the pieces scatter. I felt arms wrap around me and pull me away from the crib and onto the bed. "Nini calm down." TaeMin said pulling me into his lap. "Hyung why did they leave me? I don't think I can live without them." His grip grew tighter. "Nini, it wasn't their time. Like umma said, there will be other opportunities for you and Soo to have kids. They are waiting for you to become the best you you can possibly be." Clutching his shirt, I nodded. "I thought that I was finally enough for KyungSoo. I wanted to give him the world and I was finally doing it." 

"You were always doing it, JongIn." I looked up and saw KyungSoo and MinHo standing at the door, worry across both of their faces. You were always enough and will continue to be enough for me." He walked towards the bed and sat beside us, grabbing my hand. "You having my children was a plus that I never imagined having. You made my world more than complete and I could not see myself without you. Without you, JongIn, I would be lost. I would have nothing to live for. You are the reason that I continue to get up in the morning and fight to become better and someday, in the future, I would love for you to be the mother of my children so I can love you in more than one way. Waking up to having a miniature you calling me appa is the most I can ask for but right now, it is best that we should grow as people and stabilize our future." He kissed my head and wiped my tears. 

"I love you, Kim JongIn."

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I'm so sorry for the really long wait. I have been busy really busy with school as the year starts to come to close. I hope you guys have enjoyed this chapter and thatit wasn't too mushy. I really hate mush but I have been listening to a lot of TaeYeon and Red Velvet's new mini album and I have been feeling loving :'(. I really need help with that before people think thatI have become nicer than I really am. I should probably stop rambling now, lol. Bye for now,

-Park Kyung a.k.a The Evil Maknae