You've changed me.
As a person.
Looking back now, I realize that. It wasn't just you. It was time amd experiences and other people but you were there with me every day for two years, so you are most definitely a huge play in my character development.
You have changed me.
You've taught me to put up a shield around certain people. Because people fucking hurt.
You've taught me about myself. That I'm incredibly emotional. Sensitive. Clingy. Intense.
You've taught me that people can and will disappoint you.
You've taught me that the world is scary..
You've taught me to really think about what I say before I say it.
You've taught me to be cautious about other people's situations.
You've taught me to find the beauty in people. And that its not always easy to find, but its there.
You've taught me that people on the outside can see things completely different than you.
You've brought out the best in me. And I admire you for that.
And you've also brought out the worst in me. I also admire you for that because you'd seen the real me and still decided to stick around.
You've made me a better person overall.
My tumblr blog was a depression blog at first, you know. It was my means of venting. Then we started dating and over time my depression blog got happier and colorful. You made me so, so happy. You have since the day I met you.
I still remember that day.
It was November 4th. It was only 3 days before my birthday. I had no idea that I'd end up falling in love with you.
What a ride it's been since then, huh?
I talked to my grandmother about you today. I told her about your personality. I told her about us. About our friendship and how we were so close. I told her about some of your flaws. Your temper. Your jealousy. Your insecurities. That even with those things you were still perfect. And I told her about our relationship and how I was so proud of it. I told her the things I love about you. I told her about what we planned for our future. And that I found you to be a perfect life partner. I told her that you were complicated and intense but that I wanted it anyway. I told her that you were in a hospital now. She said that anyone who was there was there for a reason. And it would only help. I showed her pictures of you too. She said you're handsome. And I couldn't help but to agree.
Talking about you like that..made me really emotional. Its been 4 months now. Why am I not over you? Why do I still love you like you were just here yesterday? Why do I still love you like you never left? Why do I still love you like we're still together?
You're not a memory.
You're much, much more than that.
I miss you, Liebe.
Come back soon.
Ich liebe dich.
