Toilet

Accident

AMBER’S POV

My life is completely perfect.  I had a boyfriend, and I felt confident enough to tell Nicole about Tim.  I still hadn’t asked him about bungee jumping, or to actually be his girlfriend, but I felt the odds were in my favor.  Especially because I knew his secret, that Tim is a vampire, I smiled at the endowment. 

“I got this for you,” Tim said.

He held out a beautiful silver bracelet.  Tim and I were now dating; he just didn’t know it yet.

“Oh, you shouldn’t have!” I exclaimed, thinking he did the right thing; buying me a present.

Modest looking Tim bashfully placed the bracelet in my hand.

“It’s not a big deal; it’s nothing special.  I wanted the little ninja figurine but I got this prize instead.”

My heart soared; my ego was skipping on clouds.

“You won me a prize!”

Tim choked on his saliva.  He stared at the ground while sputtering nonsense.

“I just got it from a twenty-five cent machine.”

My heart fluttered in my chest.  I could almost hear wedding bells in the distance.

“Would you mind putting it on for me?” I asked.

Our hands brushed intimately, at least in my head they did; and the clasp clipped together with a snap.  It wasn’t even real silver, but that didn’t matter.  It was the thought that counts.  I beamed at him, feeling total bliss.

“So, I was thinking if you wanted to come over to my house and go swimming in the pool?” Tim asked.

“You have a pool?”

“It’s nothing fancy.”

“Sounds fun.  I would love to do that.”

We made plans for me to go over later that day.  I couldn’t wait to see him again.  If it were possible, I would spend all of my time with Tim.  Suddenly, I remembered my hairy legs.  I had been feeling lazy lately and slightly fearful of shaving again.

To make up for looking like a yeti, I wore jeans. Out of sight, out of mind.   I couldn’t wear jeans in the pool though.  I lifted up a pant leg and inspected the forest.  The hair was long enough to braid.  I walked into the bathroom, feeling like death was looming over my shoulder.  I could do this.  Perhaps, it would be better this time.  What could go wrong?

My phone buzzed noisily, it was Nicole. Like some savior, she agreed to help me pick out something to put on.  With supernatural speed, she was knocking at my front door.  In her hands, she held a plastic bag.  When she poured out the contents, it looked like a couple of strings.

“This is a bikini.  I bought this for you,” she said proudly.

“Where’s the rest of it?” I asked.

“That’s all of it.  Go ahead and try it on.  I want to make sure it fits right.”

Forgetting about my hairiness, I tried on the dental floss, I mean bikini. It was bright pink.  It felt tight; and I felt naked and exposed when I looked in the mirror.

Nicole banged on the bathroom door.

“C’mon already! Before I turn eighty!”

I opened the door and stepped out.  Nicole’s jaw hit the floor.

“Do I look alright?” I asked.

I kept fidgeting with my hands, not knowing where to place them.