The Untouchables

Chapter 2 - The Weigh of Contentment

I stand leaning on my house not doing anything in particular. The air roughly enters my lungs and dryly exits my mouth. The wind is strong today but that doesn’t stop children from running around playing happily and contently… contentment  a word that forces itself down my throat and rests in my brain but not ever saying hello to my heart.

Bitter with no sweet is contentment to me, I must be satisfied with the sour taste and through time the sour becomes tasteless.  The wind nearly blows the children away but oblivious the smiling angels continue their adventures, honest happy smiles and fluttering free spirits, they take flight.

Why it is so hard to spread my wings and fly is it because water soaks them weighing them down so they can never fly, can they ever fly? New, a beautiful and heartless word, a word that has meaning but shouldn’t to me. Nothing comes new in my life. Containment weighs so heavy on my thinning wings.

“What are you doing spacing out like that?” Mhat’s soft diluted voice interrupts.

Mhat smiles startling my paining heart, his smile just might top his eyes for best feature. The corners expand in an abrupt gentleness and his eyes smile with his mouth creating the most honest smile I’ll ever see, when he smiles you can tell he is…happy- truthfully happy.

How can he smile like that, it’s a smile I feel is incapable to experience grief for they try to see life for the best in every situation. A smile… it represents pleasure, people smile when they are pleased by someone, something or wanting to appear pleasant to a being.

When’s the last time I can say that I smiled from pure joy and not from just being okay, is it that easy? Before I can stop myself I’m holding Mhat’s face and peering into his eyes with the foolish intent of wanting some of that untainted emotion. His face is hotter and redder than fire.

“Ri-Ribbon what are you doing, you’re being so sudden for the past two days, don’t get me wrong I like it but…”

Sudden, did he know that what he did to me couldn’t compare in suddenness.

“Mhat do you ever feel sadness?” I don’t know why but I just feel that I need prove that he feels an emotion everyone should feel for a weird satisfaction.

I remove my hands from his face and start the walk to the place that you must go from 8:30 am to 3:00 pm, learning, we only learn skills that prove to be useful to ‘Them’, so I have no desire for places of such that gives us evidence that we refuse to the partial fact of us being slaves.

“You didn’t even wait for my answer. You’re an impulsive girl and yes of course I feel sadness… like when you ignore me.” he smiles faintly with in fact a slight sadness that makes my heart skip a beat, but the thing is that I don’t know if it was because the fact that I like that he feels sadness for something he cant control like me because of my selfish wanting not to feel like I’m suffering alone from something I also cannot control. Or maybe it’s my heart feeling guilty for being one of reasons he feels sadness. Maybe it’s both.

“I wasn’t trying to ignore you just now or ever, sorry.” I say to repair his sudden change in mood.

“I know you don’t do it deliberately it’s just a part of your personality.” He grins patting my back.

So easygoing I wish I could live life like he does.

My class is rowdier than usual as I take my seat in the far left of the room. Loud chaotic conversations spread across the room. What is all this? I walk towards Mhat and his friends.

“What is all this?” I ask.

He laughs,

“Seriously you forgot already, Earth to Ribbon the Prince.”