♡~UNREQUITED LOVE~♡

★MEMORIES★

Some people say its easy to just forget those moments, some say its not. I feel like you dont really forget, even after you have said that to yourself that a million times, the memories are just at the back of your mind waiting for the right moment to come haunt you...

And then one thing will come across, whether it's a picture or a saying or even just seeing your ex friends walking about, and bam! You are back to square one wondering what actually went wrong...

The difference of when you've already felt the feeling of being accepted, of love and of feeling complete and whole and of when you haven't had that is because before, you just wanted to know or you just wished for it when you saw others living like that and now when you already know, is like its now a craving, something you feel you can not live without...

I have moved on no doubt, but the memories are engraved in my mind. I keep holding on to the memories of the past, coz now I have learnt how to love people and how it feels to be loved. Theres an empty feeling in my chest everytime my past comes to my mind and chaos up in my mind, I've lost myself...

You know theres beauty and distortion in memories coz even the good and the bad memories when you replay the you feel it still as though you are living it again...

All that is now left is anger, hot red anger. Anger at myself,  you and other people. Infact I feel so bitter and hate for myself that in these past few months I have done things, things that normal people would think are crazy and would be ashamed of admitting...

I feel like I'm floating, I wanna feel that again... Even though I know that there is nothing like happy ever after, except after death, I cant help but feel helpless at finding one...

I kinda feel like if I had a choice of going back in time, I would definitely change it, but again those memories are what make me, me! And I will have to go back to the part of my life where I was a young naive kid. So in some sort of sick twisted way im grateful for these memories...

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♥♡♥Love you all♥♡♥