LIFE LESSONS

USE WORDS, NOT BOOBS OR SIX PACKS

It's been proven: The most important sex organ is the brain. The most effective sex toys are words.

Now you (and I am speaking to young women here but it applies to guys just as much) might doubt this. You might look around outside in the real world or online and go "Nuh, this theory is wrong. Boobs rule. As do six-packs. And perfect teeth."

Images are everywhere, right? Billboards. Advertisements. Magazines. Movies and TV Shows. It's saturating everything, this premise that the human body is both a tool and a magnet - blatant chunks of flesh and wordless innuendos of 'promised lust' captured in frame after frame. Your mind has been programmed by all these recurring messages. You are coerced into accepting and responding in kind: Show! Display! Advertise! Incite! Attract!

Selfie time!

... There's a you at the beach, sitting on a beach chair, reading a book. (Yeah a book - I say this because we are on a 'sharing your writing and reading others' website.) You look up briefly and see this guy! His lean body tanned, the muscles rippling as he emerges from the water shaking his head, drops flying from his messed-up hair. You are mesmerised. Your eyes are glued to his perfect physique, his confident, self-assured strides. He looks at you! Perfect white teeth dazzle your eyes. You smile back! He approaches!

"Hey." (She's reading a book? Better not ask me if I've read it.)

"Hi." (You are so gorgeous! Like those photos in the magazines...)

"Mind if I sit?" (What's she gonna say? No?)

"Sure." (Oh God, I should have worn my other bikini!)

He sits. "So. You live near here?" (Put the book down already!) He runs his eyes down your body and you blush, crossing your arms.

"Yes. A few streets away. (Why are you staring at my breasts?)

"Wanna go get a drink? I'm thirsty." (Of course she's gonna say yes. Don't they all?)

"Okay I guess." (I'd be stupid to refuse. Right?)

So this you gather up your things and stuff them in your beach bag. You throw a wrap around your bikini. He stands waiting, his eyes roaming the crowded beach, waving at others once or twice. When everything is packed, you follow him. He leads you to a bar opposite, stopping briefly where he's dropped his things to pick up a tee-shirt. That kind of drink? You were thinking iced coffee or maybe a mineral water.

"Beer okay?" (If she asks for wine, I'll know her type.)

"I'm not fussed." (Hmm...)

"Got a game this weekend. Wanna come? Me and some friends are going to a party afterwards..." (She gets it right? The after the party afterwards?)

"You play football then?" (Is it football season? And this party. Are you asking me on a date?)

"Yeah." He flexes his arms, muscles bulging near your face. (What? She can't tell? She's gotta be kidding.)

"Ummm... Sure." (I hate football. And the party's going to be full of jocks getting blind drunk... But I'd be seen with you! Everyone's going to notice me!)

"Cool." He finishes his beer in one large swallow and then stands. He winks! "Hey you mind paying for this? I didn't bring my wallet." (Don't worry; I'll buy the drinks next time sweetheart. Lots of them.)

You reach for your purse. (Am I supposed to follow you back to the beach now?)

"You have your phone on you?" (Of course she has a phone. They all do.)