LIFE LESSONS

YOU AND ME AND THE PHONE MAKES THREE... HUNDRED

Both my sons struggle on the 'dating scene'. Not through lack of choice or because they don't present as adequate choices for girls.

They just don't like threesomes. Or rather twosomes and a few hundred others peering and joining in on mobile phone screens held in jittery female hands.

Like the proverbial needle in the haystack, they seek the one girl not 'virtually surgically attached' to a screen.

They search everywhere; along the stretch of outdoor cafes... at the beach... on trains and busses... at concert halls and sports fields...

That one girl who is reading a book, or dreaming out of the window, or chatting animated, with a friend, or simply walking... The girl who does not glance down every five seconds for notifications and tweets, the girl who doesn't stop mid-sentence to answer a text, the girl who doesn't check in and take a selfie to prove it.

The girl who can talk, and share stories and giggle at the antics of others. The girl who can ask questions, who wants to know more, who cares enough to listen. The girl who can run and jump and roll-over down a hill, and play silly on the children's' swings in the park.

The girl who can walk hand in hand and be in the moment and chase a butterfly and laugh at her own silliness, the girl who is aware of issues and concerns and can have meaningful discussions about current affairs... and about the future.

The girl who doesn't care about others' opinions and doesn't follow trends and stereotypical likes and dislikes... The girl who's not on social media?

Does she exist? They've yet to find her.

LISTEN UP GIRLS.

I've read my fair share of 'lonely' poems and 'dreamy eyes' stories. I've read page after page of 'wishful' tales, where the boy - that one special boy - sweeps you off your feet... The one you can never find in real life because-

Lose the bloody phone! Tuck it away in your bag, set it to emergency numbers only - shut off notifications and tweets and instagram things. Lift your heads up and gaze around when you're out and about!

You're looking for my sons, for any amount of their peers. That's who you're waiting on, that's who you write about and mope about and bitch about... dream about. Only you can't see them, they are invisible to you (one might have passed you this very moment) because your eyes are glued to the newest status update.

I get you need mobile phones, they have their uses and yeah, they're convenient. But life is not within them see? You think life is regular status updates and sharing memes and smiling at photos of cute kittens and puppies... Aww!

Meanwhile, life passes you by. Real, in the moment moments pass unseen, unexplored. Your thousand friends on Facebook could have paled into insignificance if you'd noticed the blue eyes directed your way for thats plit second - only to look elsewhere, as they caught your lowered face and fast-moving thumbs...

...Dylan spent three frustrating months with his last girlfriend. I've probably spoken about this elsewhere but it's worth repeating. She was a nice girl. I liked her a lot. Dylan liked her a whole lot more.

The week they 'broke up', I'd seen them sitting side by side on a bench at the foreshore. He was talking. Her head was nodding - presumably agreeing with whatever he was saying but her thumbs were typing and her eyes were focussed on the screen in her lap.

I knew he'd already had that conversation with her. About how when he was with her, he didn't want to 'share' her... about 'just talking' not sitting mutely shy when with him yet away from him, saying all manner of interesting things over texts and private messages... about forgetting the rest of the world - it could wait surely?